...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Sunday, November 21, 2004


it was as big as...

I just saw the biggest, baddest motherfucking spider! AND it was in my house! My first thought was to wait til hubby got home...then he could slay the dragon...I mean spider for me. Two minutes went by...I couldn't move. OK...my only recourse was to go upstairs to get the vacuum & suck the damn thing up. If he snuck off while I was going up the stairs...I think I would have had to sell the house...because then...I'd never find him...but I'd know he was still lurking around somewhere...just waiting for an opportune moment to GET ME! So I told the spider to STAY...and he did...he stopped moving and froze. I knew he could hear me, he was as big as a small dog...I'm not kidding...so he may as well have taken commands like one too.

Well, I lived to tell the tale, I'm happy to say. I sucked him up into the vacuum with the longest attachment that I could find. My husband's going to wonder why the vacuum is outside on the front porch when he gets home, he's going to make fun of me when I tell him my story...especially the part about how spidey could easily crawl back out of the vacuum & terrorize me some more...but I know he'd say nothing if he only knew the actual size of the beast I killed with the vacuum...besides, he wasn't here to do his job & he knows that's why I married him in the first place.
this may just be my most favorite post ever
it is exactly what i would do.
so.....now we have even more in common
Thanks sweetie...I consider it high praise coming from you : )
only a totally kindred spirit would understand that the spider totally could have crawled out of the vacuum and hunted you down (and he would have been pissed)

once when i first moved to arizona, i was chased around the apartment by a ginormous furry brown spider - seriously, this thing was so big i was scared to step on it because it would have eaten through my shoes - so i trapped it in tupperware and tossed him over the patio wall - two seconds later i realized that i'm a total tool because the spider could have just hopped back over the wall, jimmied open the sliding glass door and hunted me down in my sleep. so we had to move
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