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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

 

Did a Stupid Thing (again!)

Well...it all started last night when I found an old lime in my fridge. I knew I shouldn't do it...but putting limes down the garbage disposal is supposed to sort of...freshen the air & smell really good. Yeah...maybe they should be cut up first?! I shoved the whole sucker down there!

The sound the disposal made when I turned it on was ungodly to say the least! I turned it off...fast. Then, did the unthinkable (I mean...it was the only recourse I had!) I stuck my hand into the black hole of the disposal that just made those offending sounds! Again, I knew I shouldn't do it...but did it anyway! Will I ever learn? I snatched the lime out of the disposal (it was like putting my hand into a dark, wet & scary universe that could cut me to ribbons at any given moment). That damn lime didn't even have a cut mark on it, either!

Did I actually think that the disposal would work after that?! Well, maybe I just hoped it would. I turned on the water, hit the switch...CRAP!...this time, a different but equally horrible sound came out of the damn thing! In addition, water was swirling in the sink, like it was preparing to go down the drain...but it wasn't going anywhere! I hit the switch to turn it off...and all that swirling water shot out of the sink in such a shot...that I had absolutely NO time to get the hell out of the way! Water hit me in the face with such force, that I thought...maybe it's the universe telling me to wake the fuck up & stop doing stupid things like this in the first place! ~Chick

Thursday, July 08, 2004

 

In the Harsh Light of Day

I hate to have another post about shopping...but I might just be on a shopping
bender. While I have to admit...like most women, I love to shop...but I have
lots of shopping discipline & do not shop all of the time. I also try to stay
away from shopping as therapy (easier said than done sometimes...shopping can
give you a ‘just climbed Mt. Everest’ kind of feeling. Finding that perfect
little black dress in your size that makes you feel like a tall, leggy
blonde...even though you are a short, not leggy in the least, blonde...one out
of three ain’t bad).

This time I found myself in Lord & Taylor. A store that knows how to pamper a
shopper for sure...but their dressing rooms are lit up like a million Christmas
trees. This store should take a lesson in how to light their customers from the
below mentioned Victoria’s Secret. VS has those lovely, lightly tinted lights
that are so flattering & oh so kind. L&T, on the other hand, lights you up until
you can see every bump, freckle, wrinkle & vein. Who the friggin hell needs
this? My perfect moment from yesterday's outing vanished while the brutal reality
of the bright lights hit me in the face & made me look like a ghostly apparition of my former self...& that's not exactly a good look for me. ~Chick

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

 

A Girl's Moment

From time to time, I find myself heading, without thinking, to the most feminine store that ever existed in this universe. I was in need of some femininity affirming treats from Victoria's Secret. This store always has one of two effects on me, depending on my mood of the moment. Either, it totally intimidates the absolute fuck out of me...or...it makes me feel all girlie & warm inside! Today, the second of the two was true. I walked in & saw all the lace & silk & felt like I was floating on a cloud (a pink, fluffy cloud...that says 'for girls only!' on it). There I stood in the dressing room (they get a big thumbs up for the subtle lighting in there!). I bought some things that might make me blush when I get home...but oh, how I felt all girlie & pretty (& oddly powerful...like a lingerie wearing super hero or something...but alas...I didn't bring the 4 inch pumps for the full effect...but there's always next time).

As I looked into the full length mirror in the pink carpeted dressing room, I felt that all of my curves were finally in the right spots. All of the hours I spent in the gym have made me feel better, yes, that I already knew...but...in the slightest of ways, today at least, I felt like I'd achieved some satisfaction. I seem to have lost the unwanted curves & made the ones that I wanted to keep...firmer...better (less looking like a bag of bumpy dough from the pizza place on the corner). I felt structurally supported. Supreme & peaceful. I had a much needed perfect moment. What more could I wish for? ~Chick
 

Love it...or Hate it

Things that I Love or Hate

Love...
•connecting with people
•great conversations
•insightful stories
•maps
•writing (letters, stories...basically anything!)
•photography (every aspect of it)
•watercolors
•laying in the sun (being Irish...I suck at this)
•everything about the beach
•hiking in the mountains
•silly children
•thoughtfulness
•chocolate
•kisses that mean something
•cooking
•positive surprises
•dogs & most cats
•strangers who smile at me
•hugs from people who ‘really’ hug you
•people who are truly happy to see me

Can’t Stand...
•apathy (this is a biggie)
•rudeness
•judgementalism
•cruelty (scares me more than anything)
•traffic
•crowds
•drivers who don’t use blinkers
•tickeling
•mint
•splinters
•speaker phones
•wine coolers
•thoughlessness
•pierced tongues
•stockings in the summer
•blue eyeshadow
•telemarketers
•fake people
•things thats go ‘bump’ in the night
•people who...take & are not willing to...give.

~Chick

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