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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Saturday, April 23, 2005

 

...and now you know the rest of the story.

Ok so I guess I’m forced to fill you in on mine and Chick’s “private” conversation. It all started a few months ago when the GF was taking over by the body snatchers. I posted that she was like a pod woman. Well, it continued, up until a week or so ago. It was a Wednesday I think and the POD was on her way out the door when we noticed our electrical company truck leaving our driveway. There was a letter stuck in our door, with that the POD said “Oh I hope they didn’t turn off our power” I hit the light switch right next to me..nothing. FUCK. She said I “OH I must’ve forgotten to pay the bill” and with that walked right out the door.
About $535 later, the POD who will be sleeping in a nice hotel room that night called me to ask how everything went. I kinda rip’d her a new one. I was so pissed. I had to sleep in complete darkness while the POD was watching HBO.. What’s funny is even though I had to light candles to see where the fuck I was going I still was trying to charge my phone. When I plugged the cord into the cell phone it wouldn’t make the charging “beeb” noise...I was saying “Fuck now my phone won’t work” then I realized I had NO POWER. Duh.
The next day I resigned myself to the fact that this relationship is not going to work. The POD had tried calling me a hundred times, I refused to answer, because I suck at confrontations. Well, she text me to please call her and I did. I told her I had had enough. I gave up. I was at the end of my rope. I told her I’m done trying, if you want this to work then you have to fight for it because I gave up. I did list the 15 things she has done or not done to prove she was a walking zombie.
Well...this is where it gets even more strange.

She changed.

(creepy music plays)

OverFuckingnight.

Yes... ever since, she has been COMPLETELY different. LIke she drank some kool aid shit and now follows me around like a loyal dog. Plus, she wants SEX ALL THE TIME. This is from a woman who I had to beg to touch her tit. So Chick was getting a little spooked by all this. I don’t blame her.
I asked the UnPOD what happened to you? Who is this? Her story was that she was done trying to be this strong independent woman and that she’s just going to put her trust and faith in me. Fuck that. Like Jimmy Carter, I already had committed adultly in my heart. I was sooo done. I really wanted her just to give up. I still think it’ll happen it’s just lasting a lot longer than I thought it would. Chick and I also thought maybe she just needed a good verbal ass whopping. Maybe she has a little more respect for me because I told her what she’s “going to fucking do!”

So I went from a person who told me 3 weeks ago she’s tired of fighting with my son for attention. A person 2 weeks ago who said she “wouldn’t make a good wife”, someone who would promise me sex adventures at night only to go to bed early and complain about not feeling well. Someone who I said 2 weeks ago “I don’t think you love me anymore” to which she replied..”yeah I do” as if I asked her if she had change of a dollar. Someone who has NEVER bought me a gift for no reason. Who has never bought me a card for no reason.

To a person who won’t stop telling me she loves me, hugs me all the time. Wants to do things with my son. She left a gift with a card in my car for no fucking reason. She’s in bed right now NAKED waiting for me, and I’m still at work not wanting to leave, how fucked up is that?

Well that has been the part Chick left out, aren’t you glad?

Dick
8====o~


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