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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

 

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I guess Chick really doesn't know me. She couldn't believe I meant everything I wrote in my post about Brigadoon. She really thought I had ulterior motives. She's so right!!! I want to get laid by women in California so I'm going to write about a dance scene in a 1950's movie. Jesus. Then I find in a response on another's blog, Chick comparing me to a two year old. WTF?! The best is she told me like 3 times, "what? I gave you a compliment?" Gee thanks. "Girls, have fun...but beware...that’s all I’m saying" thanks for the compliment. Man oh man.... with friends like these....

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I think I know what happened to my GF's heart, she fell asleep and one of those pods took over her from "Invasion of the body snatchers" she looks the same...but something's different... no human emotions...Now I'll have to stay awake tonight and keep one eye on her. So I think from now on I'll just refer to her as the "POD", it suits her just fine. Tonight when I was leaving the house on my dinner break, she was laying in bed and I was saying goodbye, she said "see ya' " not even looking at me, flipping through the channels. God is this what it feels like to be a woman, neglected because your partner can't even take their eyes off the tv for a second? I feel like such a fucking girl. So I said "WTF?" .."I'm leaving and you can't even look at me? "You used to say drive safe, have a good night, I'll miss you and now I get "see ya' "?" Jesus. So I started leaving and she said "Come back I want to give you a hug" I told her "give it to me later" Fucking POD woman. I'm really tired of this shit.

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People if I really told you what I'm like you would shit, you would here a collective "Sigh" across the country because when it comes to being a romantic I wrote the fucking book! Chick of course would still think it's all a ploy. Don't trust him women!! I'm tired of that shit too. I will tell you one thing I did do, it was one of my top 5.
For my Ex's first Mother's Day I went out and bought about 75 red roses, each one had the little plastic vile of water on it, while she was sleeping I went to where I hid the flowers and CAREFULLY laid them all over the bed, I had one in my hand and I woke her up and gave it too her, she was saying "awwwww" because of the one flower, what she didn't even notice was the bed, covered in them. I then gave her a pretty piece of lingerie, because she just had a baby and I wanted her to feel good about herself again. It was spring and the dogwood tree in our yard had these beautiful petals, that is what I put in the box to cover the lingerie. The last thing I did for her at the very same time she's in bed is I sang her a Billy Joel song but I changed the words so it related to us. This is the kind of person I am. I have lots more stories like that, I just wish I had someone who would appreciate it. I left many a card in the POD's purse just so later in the day she would find it, all I ever got was "thanks for the card". Do you think maybe the pod could get a hint and try to reciprocate? Fuck no. Pod's are made of leafy green vines, not anything human.

Well, I'm sure to hear more of Dick being soft shit and it's a ploy shit, and I guess it's okay. When I do joke is usually is testosterone laden. That is a big part of me I kinda have a hard exterior but I have a soft side. A Brigadoon side. Just like Gene Kelly I guess, strong yet romantic. Now I need to find my Fionna, before the body snatchers find her first.

Dick
8====o~


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