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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

 

Most embarrassing moment #1

I was about 16 or 17 growing up an Albino in Jersey City. My sister (the oldest) was part of the in crowd. Always hung out with all the cool people and was the most popular. She had a hot blonde friend "Anna". Well for some strang reason (even to this day I don't understand) my sis asked me if I wanted to go to a sun tanning salon with her and Anna. Well I'd go anywhere Anna was going.
When we got there I had no idea what I was in for all I know this was a way for me to get a shade darker than "sun" and maybe be cool in the eyes of Anna. So my sis and Anna have a membership already and they leave me there to sign in by myself while they go tan. The guy behind the desk asks me if I'm going to be naked, I said "what?" He said some people wear shorts some are nude. We'll if I'm going to be nude someday with Anna, I better be tan all over I thought. hee hee hee.
He says you need a pair of glasses to protect yourself against the lights, "what color do you want he asks?" Green I say. This is easy.
He asks if I want to wear a sticker,
"a sticker?"
yeah he says "it shows how tan you are getting",
"sure!"
"What sticker would you like?",
"I'll take the heart."
So then he takes me into the first tanning booth directly across from the people who are sitting waiting next in line. He shows me how the timer works and the lights tells me how to lock the door and leaves. My mind is still on how the lights work when he's gone.
The first section of the cubicle is where you get changed then there is this little doorway to the other section where all the lights are. I get undressed and put my little green glasses on that make me look like a lizard, and stick this little red heart sticker on my chest.I turn the timer to 7 minutes lock the door and step into the light. I'm standing there listening to Madonna through the piped in music. I hear a noise....I'm standing there naked, lizard like with a red heart sticker, that's it. I'm thinking to myself.."did I lock the door the right way?" "was that the noise I heard?" I step out of the lights into the dressing part and reach for the lock on the door, with that it swings wide open away from me.
I quickly hid behind the wall. The door was wide open, and the people sitting in the chairs right outside my cubicle were wondering, I'm sure, if someone's coming out. So there I was.. the day I was trying to better myself for all of women kind and I find myself naked hiding behind a wall wearing nothing but lizard glasses and a heart sticker. I bravely leaned over naked in front of everyone grabbed the door and smiled, I thought if I smile really big they might not notice everything else.
I closed the door, locked it this time and stood there in the burning lights thinking "what a loser".
When we all got together and left there I was sure everyone knew, my sis and Anna. So I told them the whole sordid story, they laughed for a few years.
Fast forward about 7 years...I come back from a party dressed up like I was right out of GQ. Anna is hanging out with my sis. I find out later she thought I looked hot and was interested in me. At a New Year's party in NY she and I hooked up and kissed all night long, I had this shit eating grin I couldn't get rid of. And my brother (a nasty drunk) was giving me the evil eye all night long. In the car going home he tried to start a fight with me. He was saying "You think your hot shit huh?" and I was practically laughing saying "yep!" He wanted to slap the smile off my face, thank God it was a short drive.
About a month later Anna and I went out for a dinner date. It was horrible. When I dropped her off at her place I got out and walked her to her door kissed her cheek and went back to my car. I went to my door and realized I locked the door. My car was still running. Anna is still looking at me through the door window, I walked around and said a small prayer she didn't lock her door. It was still open thank God. I opened the passenger door reached in and unlocked the driver's door. I got up and she is still looking at me with a big friggen grin on her face. I walked around opened the driver's door and got in..somethings never change.

Dick
8====o~


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