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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Friday, June 25, 2004

 

NYC

I just found out that I have to journey to New York City once a month for my job. I work in one of our New Jersey sites, but most of my coworkers work in NYC. I guess there is something to be said about actually seeing the people you work with live & in the flesh. I can't see how it would be a bad idea. Don't get me wrong...I love New York City, I really do, it's just getting there that sucks! I either have to drive more than 50 miles, over highways, bridges & through a tunnel...then spend over $28 just to park! Or...give myself two hours to take the train to the ferry, then walk two blocks to my building. I don't know which way sucks more. Sometimes it's a matter of what's more important at the moment...time or money?

Like I said...I love The City. In fact, there's nowhere else exactly like it. Every time I find myself in another city...anywhere else on this planet, I think to myself, "this place has some great qualities...but it ain't NYC").

I wish I could remember where the following view on NYC came from. I 'stole' it from a site long ago...just 'cause I liked it so much & thought it was a dead on observation about NYC. To the person who wrote this...thank you!

"A valued friend of mine moved to the city and after a few months, here's his impression:

What to say about a New York City street that hasn't been said before and better by Jim Carroll, Paul Simon, and loads of others in black turtlenecks, funky glasses, French cigarettes, and high cheekbones? I guess it's just one of those things, you know. Seething, slithering, slobbering, stinking, creeping, clattering, clanging, calling, bla bla bla bla bla. Ask some poet to do that part for you. If I had to, I'd say that to me, the strangest, and perhaps most magical thing about New York is how quickly one gets used to it. It lulls you to sleep, it does. Smack in the middle of the center of the world, so they say, with hundreds, (thousands?) of people swirling around you, somehow you still are able to filter it all out, and shrink your world down to the clothes around your body. There's this feeling from those first few seconds where you looked out onto the street that now you've seen it all, you can no longer be shocked, and must make a concerted effort to never be shocked again. I'd be willing to bet that if I stripped naked and ran through Battery Park with my hair on fire, there would be at least one person that would say "oh, shit. Not again." Sometimes I think that the only unforgivable crime in New York is to express surprise."

In my opinion...very well said. Thanks again! ~Chick

Thursday, June 24, 2004

 

So, what are you looking at?!

I'm in a crabby mood today (but my astrological sign is Cancer...so it’s allowed, right?). I’ve NEVER been a morning person. I don’t think I’m unpleasant in the morning...if people LEAVE ME ALONE! How hard is that to understand? Do I really always have to spell it out for people? Then, if I do spell it out, they think I’m being crabby...but how the hell else are they ever gonna learn? It’s kind of like, “stay out of my way & we will not have a problem.”

Usually, that morning crabbiness lifts off my being by about 10 AM. Today...it seems to be sticking around. It might have something to do with these beautifully killer new shoes I’m wearing today. I don’t usually where heels. That’s just not the kind of girl I am usually. But sometimes a girl’s got to live a little. Mostly I stay away from these ultra feminine, high as the sky, 3 inch heels...because you can’t walk extremely fast in them. Really, what’s the point...(unless you are on vacation...& even then sometimes you’re in a hurry). I like to get from A to B FAST. Why dawdle? Why take more time than necessary? Anyway, these shoes are causing me to think of nothing else today. Sure, I love them, they’re lovely...but they are the most uncomfortable thing to ever come in contact with my delicate little feet! Women who do this to themselves everyday are nuts...or else they are crabby all of the time...& I say...who can blame them? ~Chick

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

 

Stop Touching Me!

Am I crazy...or is it everyone else? I just ventured out on my lunch hour. I ended up at Starbucks. The line was so long that I almost didn’t get on it...but I desperately needed a boost (you know, the kind that ONLY Starbucks can give you!?). More people than I cared to count were in front of me.. Worse than the fact that I was getting nowhere...fast...was the disconcerting problem of the woman standing just a little too close to me in back of me in line.. Like most people, I hate it when people invade my personal space without being invited.. My first thought was, she’s after the $3.50 in my pocketbook! There I am, standing there like an idiot, with my arm around my pocketbook, just when I thought it wasn’t possible, the strange woman behind me moved closer. Did I ask her to touch my leg with hers? Uh...no! but there she was doing just that! Reminded me of when I was growing up, & my little brother would touch me...or almost touch me & say, “I’m not touching you!”. ~Chick

Friday, June 18, 2004

 

The Power of the "C" Word

This subject came up in a conversation I had with Dick the other day. He was telling me the troubles he was having with his ex wife over custody of his son. He recounted a phone conversation between him & her where the end result was Dick calling her the "C" word & violently hanging up the phone.

Now, I don't know any woman who does not take at least some offense at this word. I could see why his ex was pissed...BUT...I had to wonder if she knew (or cared) what kind of an extra special bitch she was being to cause such a vile word to be used in reference to herself.

Here's one definition I found:

1. The female genital organs.
2. Sexual intercourse with a woman.

a. Offensive. Used as a disparaging term for a woman.
b. Used as a disparaging term for a person one dislikes or finds extremely disagreeable.


"A person you find extremely disagreeable"...doesn't even BEGIN to cover the hate, loathing & disrespect this word conveys! Hell, I can't even say (...or write for that matter)the actual word I'm talking about here! Dick tried to get me to say it, our chat went something like:

Chick: You called her that?!
Dick: I did!
Chick: Really, you called her the "C" word?
Dick: You can't say it, can you?
Chick: No.
Dick: Come on...say it, you'll feel better!
Chick: I can't.
Dick: Say it!

...& I never did say it!

Thursday, June 17, 2004

 

To the Girl from this Morning

To the girl who was in front of me this morning on my way to work. (& you know who you are!) You were in your cute little silver Camry, you could not seem to stop twirling your hair madly...over & over. I thought I'd go absolutely nuts watching you do this...& if that wasn't bad enough, you were driving 40 MPH in a 45 MPH zone! Why would you do this? Did you know that you were making me stressed & insane in back of you? I know...I should let the small things go...but you egged me on, really, you did! I had no choice, it was either go slowly mad or pass your sorry, hair twirling ass & be done with it. Why is it that extremely slow drivers always get mad when you pass them in a no passing zone? Is it that they don’t want to be in back of a driver who is driving twice as fast as they are for some reason? Why on earth should that possibly bother them? I am so stumped on this one! Or maybe, they want me driving up their butts? In any case, as I passed you, you flipped me the bird...but little did you know that I was secretly happy at the gesture, I mean, it made you stop twirling your friggin hair! ~Chick

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

 

The Story

"What is it that I have to tell myself, again & again?
That there is always a new beginning, a different end.
I can change the story. I am the story.
Begin".

...ƒrom "The Powerbook" By Jeanette Winterson

...some "out there" creative writing, that makes you think.

~Chick

Monday, June 14, 2004

 

Never Hold a Grudge...

"My father taught me that I should never hold a grudge because while I'm busy being angry, the other guy's out having a drink somewhere."

Buddy Hackett

How right on is that? ~Chick

Friday, June 11, 2004

 

Smiling Jeremy

I've just returned from one of the most fruitlessly UNPRODUCTIVE shopping sprees of my life. All I wanted to do was purchase a specific digital camera as a gift for my niece who's graduating from high school. Doesn't sound like such a lofty goal, now does it? I asked someone who works in the camera department for help. Jeremy was a smiling 20 something with a knack for turning the simplest thing into a mess. Actually took him 10 minutes to find his way to the back of the store to see if the camera I wanted to buy was back there. Smiling Jeremy returned to me...with no camera...& no explanation.

me: any luck?
smiling Jeremy: huh?
me: the camera...did you find any?
sj: no
me: can you call & check in another store for me?
sj: do you have a cell phone?

Can you believe it? He wanted to use my phone? I was thinking about saying, "you've got some fucking balls to ask me to use my phone 'cause you are too damn lazy to go to the front of the store to use the phone!"...what I actually said was closer to..."How about we just use your phone, Sweetie"...I threw the "sweetie" in there for good measure (of course, it really didn't help).

Off we went the front of the store. As I was following smiling Jeremy, he was absentmindedly knocking things over with the clipboard he was holding. Price signs fell from shelves, every time something fell, good old smiling Jeremy would look backwards, see what he'd done, & give me a shrug of the shoulders...as if to say...oh well. Needless to say, he picked up nothing.

We finally arrived at the customer service counter. Jeremy picked up a phone & was promptly yelled at by a tough looking woman who said, "never use that phone, that's the switchboard!" Unfazed, smiling Jeremy finally got the other store on the line. After greeting his "peeps" (at least that's the word he used!), and giving them virtual high fives (?!), and checking on the status of the hot manager there...he finally got around to asking if they had the camera I was putting my life on hold for! Smiling Jeremy hung up the phone & looked at me with the blankest expression. My response? I wait...nothing...he just stands there! I finally say, "Well?! " ..."No, they don't have it", says SJ. I am floored! "CRAP!!!" I say. People are looking at me like I am the crazy one! Don't they know that this guy has driven me to this final point of aggravation?! If they knew...would they care??? I doubt it...& this fact just adds to my frustration!

I walk out of the store without another word...knowing that I will never get that portion of my life back! ~Chick

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