...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Thursday, March 27, 2008


My artistic rendering of what I saw

You saw him at Dunkin Donuts.

You saw him when you were standing at the back of the line.

You only went there because there was no time to linger in Starbuck's.

...no time to criss-cross your legs in an almost comfortable overstuffed chair with your fake chai tea & your paper that you'd pretend to read instead of get caught people watching or worst of all sulking.

If you had to guess you'd think he might be 18.

You wonder how long he's had that terrible acne (the kind where you look for a place to rest your eyes where there isn't redness or bumps that look like they hurt).

You feel worse when you see his stubbly neck. At first glance you think the giant red...(or is it closer to purple?) spots are hickies...there's one GIANT one on each side of his neck for balance.

You even consider kidding him about it (you figured if he had the confidence about it to flaunt those big honker spots in broad daylight on a Sunday in March, you might as well acknowledge it).

You finally get to the front of the line & end up saying nothing about any of it.

You order your tea & look directly into his blue eyes while shoving five bucks into the tip jar.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Simple Advice

(Palm reading-
The more prominent your intuition line appears (deeper, longer) the stronger the indication that psychic ability is a dominant characteristic for the person. Intuition lines are not the easiest to detect, & may be absent entirely.

I recently got this advice from someone I know:

1. Make a choice.

2. Take an action.

3. Let your intuition surface.

I like simple advice...my problem has always been #2.

I think they are all equally important...but without all of them...you have nothing.

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Thursday, March 20, 2008


Asking For Help is Hard

Anyone out there ever been in any kind of therapy?

I'm thinking about it but it scares the fuck out of me.

Sort of reminds me of Snapple.

Bear with me here:

You know that gunk at the bottom of the Snapple bottle?

Starting therapy sort of feels like shaking the bottle.

What will I do with all that yucky gunk...

Once it's not neatly at the bottom anymore?

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Why I Suck

Breaking your own heart..."It hurts...not just in the imagination...not just in the mind...it's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-&-rips-you-apart pain."

Sorry about the vagueness of all this...I told you...I suck.

Monday, March 17, 2008


Happy Saint Patrick's Day


Saturday, March 15, 2008


I found some more unique, kind of different items in my travels lately & I thought I'd share:

These are actual NYC subway tokens. Maybe I like them because they are a thing of the past...but aren't they lovely?

Who doesn't love the crunchy edges of brownies the best of all? This pan gives you more edges...ingenious!

I love the strong graphics here, can you see the hammerhead sharks in the wallpaper. This looks both masculine & feminine to see...& that's not an easy concept to achieve at all.

This candy necklace brings me back to childhood. I want to eat it.

(Click on these to view them bigger & see the web addresses if you care to do it.)


Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Hands & What to Do with Them

I was reading the Village Voice recently. I appreciate this paper because you never know what they'll throw into an issue together. Sometimes it's articles about Governor Spitzer getting caught with prostitutes & reviews about restaurants off the ferry in Staten Island titled 'Boating & Bloating'. Makes for a interesting, eclectic mix of subjects.

The article, 'An Expert's Guide to Hand Jobs for Men & Women' kind of piqued my interest. The author states that:

"... handjobs in general get a bad rap. People think of them as something immature & unskilled...what teenagers do instead of having sex. Or they're dismissed as "foreplay," a brief warmup to bigger & better things like oral sex & intercourse. Some associate hand sex only with solo masturbation & too quickly abandon it as a form of partner pleasure unto itself."

THANK YOU! I most definitely agree.

"...but I believe just the opposite: Hands are sexual tools. They're like the naughty bits we don't have to cover when we're in public. When I'm attracted to someone, the first thing I check out is their hands. After all, if they've got good hands, anything is possible."

Next time you do anything...stop & think about the pleasure hands...your own...or someone else's can give...linger...take your time...see what happens. Think of the possibilities.

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Thursday, March 06, 2008


My dentist is a yankee fan

I only tell you that...because I have to go sit in his chair tomorrow morning & inevitably stare up at his thousands of framed posters of Derick Jeter & Wade Boggs & Darryl Strawberry & Paul O'Neill...he goes way back & yes...I am tormented by these faces while I'm being held captive in his chair. It's either look up the doc's nose or eyeball Joe Torre. Can I have another choice please, please, PLEASE?!

...& I DARE not tell him that I'm a Redsox fan...I almost let it slip last time I was there...then I thought better of it. I know how yankees fans can be & this man is skilled with drills & huge needles & PAIN. I just know that the second the words...Big Papi dribbled out of my mouth...he'd instantly run out of novocaine & the unmedicated torture would begin.

Although...I have to give him a smidge of credit for not having one single photo of A-hole up there (he's only got World Series yanks pics...so really why would he have A-hole up there?). Way to go, Doc (please don't hurt me).

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Monday, March 03, 2008


Am I Being a Pansy?

I recently read an article about a doctor in LA who...I can't believe this...injects a dose of human collagen into women's G-spots...um...in order to enlarge it & make it easier to find.

Ouch...a hundred times...ouch. Please, yes, let's see where it hurts in order to make it feel orgasmic later. What the hell am I missing here?

If you can't find it, women, I can think of 74 easier, less painful ways to find it that might...imagine this?...even be fun.


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