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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Monday, March 22, 2010

 

Did I Steal it? Or Did She Just GIVE it to me??



OK, maybe I'm not going to hell after all.
This woman left all her shit right out there
on her table in a crowded restaurant & took her kid to the bathroom.

It was like she dumped out her purse & scrammed.
Um, I see a purse, an iPhone & what's that?!
her credit card just sitting there unattended on her table.

I looked, & looked, & looked again.
Nope, no owner in site.
I looked at the people around me & they didn't seem to think it was odd at all.

I couldn't figure out if they were all just unobservant or just plain stupid.

How do you think she knew that I really wanted an iPhone?

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Monday, March 15, 2010

 

Reason # 368 Why I Am Going to Hell



See that car?

There's a real live nun in there.

I took the photo with my phone

after inadvertently flipping her the bird

because she triggered one of those traffic lights

that only go off if someone is on a side street waiting to turn onto

this particular road.

(her light turned green making mine turn red).

I didn't realize it until the fires of hell

were already on me that she was a nun.

I know if she saw what I did

she'd have pulled me over right away

& hit my knuckles with the same ruler

that Sister Beatrice used to smack

my 7 year old hands when she saw I had actually worn nail polish to school.

I can still feel the burn.

OK, maybe I stand by my actions after all.

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