...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


(This view gives me nightmares.)

I find I miss coming here...when I'm away for a while (Mondays just seem to be socking me in the gut lately & it's hard to think about writing anything with the air knocked out of you).

I spend my early hours at my dentist's office this morning (welcome to your day...now spit). He shot me up with novocaine & my heart began to race & my hands shook. I asked the doc why that happened (I almost panicked even) & he nonchalantly mentioned something about nerves being connected (don't worry...he said as I lost control of my limbs & kicked him in the crotch).

The left side of my body is numb now (ok...just my mouth is numb...but still) & all I've had to eat is yogurt. This might be making me somewhat crabby & cross today...or not...I haven't decided yet.

Friday, February 24, 2006


(Taken with my cell phone...before the saleslady chased me away)

I knew I'd regret going to the mall last night after work...
Yet I did it anyway.
I should have made a pit stop before leaving work.
(Drinking tea then driving anywhere always makes my bladder want to sing.)
I ran into the mall...had to run clear across the food court to reach the restrooms
Once I got there...
I discovered my coat zipper was stuck on my pants.
Took me 3.7 minutes to unjam myself
Then...sweet relief (I really was in some pain).

I'd come to the dreaded mall in search of a bathing suit for the summer
The whole time I was thinking...
I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a cheeseburger today...
On account of the fact that stores begin to sell swimwear in the winter
& by the time summer rolls around...they usually have nothing left
& who needs a bathing suit in February (unless you live at the beach...
& I'm just not THAT lucky)?

After searching the major department stores...
I found nothing that I even wanted to try on.
I think I'll take my search for the perfect suit online.

See that pic above?...tell me why...sweet Lord...
Oh why...do they think the Godiva chocolate
Belongs next to the bathing suits?!
I almost had a meltdown
What are they trying to do to me?!

I left the store before my head exploded.

Thursday, February 23, 2006



It's a soft focus kind of a day...

You know...
like in old movies when they want someone to look all dreamy & better yet...
wrinkle free...they film them through a gauzy filter that softens out their edges...
that's the kind of day I'm predicting today to turn out to be...we'll see.

Happy HNT.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I watched the movie Garden State last night. Have you seen it? Let me know if you have...'cuz I'd love to know what you thought about it.

I'm torn on reading other people's reviews of movies before having seen the movie myself...so I won't give too much away here...but if you are a fan of subtle humor, great acting & well shot scenes...you can not not like this movie.

Zach Braff wrote, directed & stars in this movie...so it helps if you like him already before you head in (but it's not essential) & if you expect Scrubs-like silliness you'll find it here for sure...but it won't hit you over the head & include a laughtrack that jams the humor down your throat so you can't possible miss it.

Any movie that has the two main characters meet because a dog was masturbating on one of the character's legs...well...it's got something unique about it. This movie is funny...but you have to look for it...maybe that's what I love about it

Favorite line: "If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like."

Friday, February 17, 2006


All Along The...

As I sat here...
Working from home today
I heard the doorbell ring
Went downstairs & opened the door
To find 2 fresh faced young men on my doorstep
(Freshly scrubbed by the Lord?)

They handed me a Watchtower pamphlet
One of them quoted me a passage of scripture
About LOVE
I swooned...
(it's been a while)

They left & I'm not lying when I say
I felt the love...

Why did I read the words they left me?
Why, dear Lord, oh why?

I understand that they want to spread the love...
But upon further inspection
I found the words...

"God's Kingdom will soon destroy
those who oppose their fellow man...

Um...no love there...

I may just have to read some more...
Damn me (to hell)
Why am I so quick to judge
(& therefore persecute?)

Maybe I need them to come back?
Is my soul in grave danger of going astray?

..."There must be some way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion
I can't get no relief..."

Wrong Watchtower?

Thursday, February 16, 2006



...More lacey skivvies...

& a Happy HNT to you.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Good Grief...it's Valentine's Day?

Happy St. Valentine's Day.

As I've said before...
I don't want to be much of a fan of this forced down your throat holiday .
But I have to admit...I'm a little caught up in the fluff this year.
I gave Hubby a card & some funky heart pj bottoms.
He gave me...nothing...(but the day is still young?)

Would I trade mine in for a better model that gives me gifts?
For about an hour today...the answer would be yes...
But then I'd want the grumpyschlump I married back.

My friend J & I both met our future Hubbies at about the same time.
Hers would get her little lovey-dovey gifts constantly & for no reason at all.
Mine rarely got me "it's Tuesday & I love you so here's a stuffed bear in a tu tu" gifts.
I was jealous for about 3 minutes...
Till I realized that I'd have to take the whole package if I traded him in.
J's boyfriend was a little bit on the whinny side...
Would I want someone whinny even if he gave me gifts? Nah...


(My backyard with snow...)

Gotta love 2 feet of snow on a Sunday.
No where else to be except home with Hubby & a fire in the fireplace.
We snow blew the driveway (that's code for what?)...
Shoveled a bit...watched the Winter Olympics for hours.
Who knew that endless luge coverage could be so entertaining?
Those guys go over 85 mph on a sled...feet first on their backs...
(OK...so maybe I'm sports starved till baseball starts).
I go from instant excitement at watching downhill skiing to..."this is so lame"...
while watching someone called the flying tomato flip around wildly on a snowboard.
(Snowboarding? Um...not a sport...
Anything that involves big pants & graffiti does not get to be a sport).

Friday, February 10, 2006


A Little Help...

(I'm stressed just looking at this guy...eeek...get him out)

Why am I up at 6:30 AM blogging?
Why do I let the little things add up & stress me out?
Don't ask what's stressing me out.
I said, don't ask!
(Sorry, that was the stress talking)
My question is...
What helps you deal with stress?
Most of mine is self created & silly...
But I still have to deal with it...or do I?

Thursday, February 09, 2006


Happy HNT

My sister decided this bra was itchy...
So she gave it to me.
I wasn't bothered by the fact that it
looks like something our grandmother would have made
But she was right about the itch.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


One Bullet Is All It Takes

"I guess I was waiting at the wrong end of the counter."

I said this to the saleswoman who passed me by to wait on another customer who'd been waiting at the exact opposite end of the counter for exactly half the time I'd been waiting.

I walked over to the other side & smiled at them both. Neither one smiled back. I smiled harder...still nothing. The customer left without so much as a thank you or even a look back.

The saleswoman rang me up & just stood there looking at me. Maybe she was deaf, maybe she was deaf AND rude?

I stood there for as long as I could take it (about 5 seconds)...she still said nothing...so I aimed my credit card at her middle like I was going to stab her in the gut with it. She grabbed it (I thought about not letting it go...because it would have amused me...& probably pissed her off) & charged me.

At this point, my face was sore from all of the fake smiles I was forcing. She handed my my package...no smile, no kind words, no...thanks for shopping here...not even a lousy...have a nice day.

As she walked to the back of the store, I heard her begin to yell at another salesperson. Now I knew that she wasn't deaf...she was just a miserable bitch with no sense of humor & really bad taste in shoes...shoot me if I ever get like that.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


What Day is it?

How is every little thing with you today? I'm still on a Super Bowl high (yay Steelers). We left before the game was over...but got home in time to see the end. How cool was it that Jerome Bettis announced his retirement at the end of the game instead of making people guess if he'll return?

There were so many great commercials...but the one that stuck with me was this one. Just the fact that they are addressing issues like this is inspiring.

Ever had a day when you felt like this?

When you felt like a little kid who's feet don't even touch the ground (no short jokes here...it's just too easy) yet?

That's sadly all I got today...

Friday, February 03, 2006


Last night as I was cleaning up from dinner (oh, the glamorous life I lead) I mentioned to Hubby that my sis had invited us over to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. Without putting so much as two seconds of thought into it...he exploded on me. He shouted things like, "I don't want to drive a fucking hour to watch the game & get home late on a Sunday night" & "You go...but I'm staying home!" Then he went upstairs.

I stood there watching the water go down the drain in the kitchen sink. Maybe it's me, but I kinda like to bounce an idea around in my head for a bit...before I explode like an insane person. I guess I always knew that I married a hot head...but my only defense seems to be tears (sometimes being a girl sucks) or silence. I tried the whole...yell right back at him til the neighbors call the police thing...but nothing good ever came of that at all.

I don't understand someone's mood going from normal to through the roof insane in no time at all. I'm more of a slow simmerer. I'll swirl something around inside of my head for days before the anger comes out...but Hubby?...oh no...he'll scream & yell & throw things at the drop of a hat til I want to say to him, "save your energy...you're gonna need it when we make up."

He usually comes down from these madness highs sorta soon after the initial blowout & says that he's sorry...but by then the damage has been done & I'm left to just get over it (because sulking sucks...& happens to make him mad all over again...go figure...& being mad myself zaps my energy completely).

We are going to my sister's house on Sunday. Go Steelers.

Thursday, February 02, 2006


OK...I'm obsessed with these shoes...

I'll admit it.

Happy HNT.

Happy Groundhog day too...keep your fingers crossed.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Happy February 1st. I'm hoping that the damn groundhog doesn't see his shadow tomorrow because I'm looking forward to spring so very much. It's been a mild winter so far...but it's also been kind of grey & blustery here lately.

I think I may just follow this guy down to a small tropical island. I'll stalk him & bother him til he invites me to stay with him in his hut on the beach. We'll sip (or chug...makes little difference to me) colorful, girly drinks on the beach all day & feed our mad, passionate love (lust might be a better word here) all night.

This plan sounds super fine to my way of thinking...I just have to figure out where my lusty beach man is hiding these days.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?