...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Monday, February 28, 2005


DICK...and Chick

This blog was Dick's idea. Really, it was. Apparently, I seem to be having more
fun with this site than he does. Dick had the nerve to accuse me of taking over
this blog...Funny how that happens...when the other person REFUSES
to show up! Dick claims that he doesn't know what to write here. I thought
a list of potential topics might lure him back...but I need some suggestions too.

My list of potential topics for Dick:

  • His divorce

  • His girlfriend

  • The fact that his gf had a wedding dress even before she met him

  • Why he wants to get remarried (so soon)

  • Why he loves Dolly Parton

  • Why he plays some CD's over & over & over (for hours on end)

  • Any additions to this list would be greatly appreciated.
    Anything, no matter how ridiculous or silly...will be considered.

    Friday, February 25, 2005


    The Gates

    If you happened to be in NYC at any time in the past 3 weeks...
    it seems that you were obligated to head over to Central Park
    to see the temporary artwork that is The Gates.
    I wasn't going to go...but then I heard that they will be taken down
    starting Monday. Did I want to miss a bona fide "art event"?
    (I'd never been to one...so I figured...yeah...go & see what all the fuss is about).

    As I walked up 7th Ave. nearing the park, a sea of orange (or saffron...
    as the artists call it...but clearly, it is Home Depot orange) pops out at you
    from between the trees. There were greeters at the park entrance giving out
    fact sheets & samples of the 'saffron' material. (Maybe you had to be there...
    but I thought this was cool). The greeters were also responsible for making sure
    none of the gates got tangled in the wind. They walked from gate to gate
    with big poles making sure all was right in this maze of 'saffron'. They happily
    posed for my lame ass photos (& for that, I thank them). The project employed
    hundreds of young artists who were involved in the planning & setup.

    I came away thinking that any project that fosters artistic thinking & talent...
    in the general public as well as in artists...can't be that bad.

    ...more photos.

    Wednesday, February 23, 2005



    Getting back to the gym yesterday was good for me. I sweated it out.
    It was tough...but not as tough as the day I went last summer & got stuck
    in my skirt.

    All started well. I went down to the gym on my lunch hour.
    I entered the locker room. All was as it should be. I got a locker & took off my
    (fabulous) shoes. Next, I started to unzip my favorite black skirt, but
    something was wrong, the zipper wouldn't budge. Not an inch, not half an
    inch...NOTHING. I pulled & I tugged...there was no movement at all.
    I backed up to the mirror (the damn zipper was in the back of the skirt)
    to see what the problem could possibly be. I twisted my head as far
    as it would go & peered into the mirror at my zipper. It all looked fine
    to me...no material caught, no bent zipper teeth...like I said

    I was alone in the locker room stuck in my no longer favorite black
    skirt. I wouldn't have been to proud to ask for help, had some else just
    been in there at the time...but I was NOT going to go out in public
    & ask someone to tug on my zipper. So, on went the shoes & off I went
    back to work for the rest of the day. No workout! (all the while, knowing
    that I was trapped in my clothes...but thankfully, it was a skirt &
    not pants & I still had the freedom to pee).

    That night, the first thing I did when I got home was attack
    my claustrophobia inspiring skirt with a vengeance. If I couldn't
    get the zipper down, my next thought was, pull the blasted thing
    straight up & over my head. In the insane state I was in, I thought,
    yeah, this could work...so I worked for what seemed like FOREVER
    & finally got the skirt up & over my breasts. Can you picture it...
    do you know who stupid I looked? The one flaw in my master plan?
    I forgot to account for my arms! There was just no way that sucker
    would budge past my armpits!

    This was the point where I sat on the floor & cried...because my
    husband wasn't due home till late that night & I'd lost all sense of reason.
    I called a girlfriend on her cell. She just happened to be at a local
    pub near my house. I showed up at the pub with a pair of needle nose
    pliers & a look of desperation.

    In the end, we couldn't stop laughing as she ruined my once favorite
    little black skirt by ripping the zipper down with the pliers
    in the ladies room of the pub. She felt so bad (she tried not to tear it),
    she bought me drinks for the rest of the night...
    yeah, I stayed & got tipsy in my damaged skirt.

    Tuesday, February 22, 2005



    Thanks for all your good wishes. I'm feeling better.
    That means my 5 days of abstinence (I know what you're thinking...
    but wait...let me finish) from the gym (ok, from that too...unfortunately)
    will be over in about an hour. It's back to the gym with my sorry ass.
    I'm not feeling overly optimistic about going back. I walked up 3 flights
    of stairs today & almost died...so the treadmill should finish me off quite nicely.

    Friday, February 18, 2005


    I Be Illing

    Originally uploaded by Chick.
    Can someone kindly just hit me on the head with something heavy? I'm sick again & just want to be temporarily put out of my misery. I'm not sure if it was my germ post of 2 days ago that got me all ick-ed out & ill or was it the ride up in the elevator with Ms. Snot & Tissues (who happens to be a closer talker)?

    Either way, I'm staying in my PJ's for the entire day (& no one can stop me!).

    Thursday, February 17, 2005



    Zinnia Painting
    Originally uploaded by Chick.
    Tara's post about her art got me thinking about creativity & all the ways there are to express it.

    Blogging falls into the creative expression category, doesn't it? Everyone is creative in some way everyday. I think some people fail to recognize their creativity. I seriously doubt there is anyone out there who hasn't done at least 5 creative, imaginative things today. Anything from pairing your favorite shoes with your favorite skirt, with flair, to the swirly & utterly unique (at least that's the way I see it...even when he rolls his eyes at me) kiss you gave your spouse this morning, counts as creativity in my book.

    I paint whenever I can give myself a couple of uninterrupted hours to play. I don't always share my work. I don't do it for any other reason but to please myself. Sometimes, it feels like I'm seeking approval, if I show someone something I've done. Who knows, maybe I am? Tell me you like it, & actually mean it...I'll love you forever. Tell me hate it ...you're liable to get a swift kick in the crotch.

    Wednesday, February 16, 2005


    Don't Touch That

    I used to work with a germ freak. Every morning, he'd come in
    & clean the surface of his desk (using noxious, toxic cleaning
    fluids that I kept telling him were going to...ironically...KILL him).

    I was reminded of him yesterday morning because The Today Show
    is doing a series on germs. It's all rather creepy, if you ask me.
    They are testing ordinary things that you touch every day.
    What they are finding will make your skin crawl.

    My germ freak friend would tell his children not to touch the handrails
    on escalators. He thought that was one of the most lethal germ
    environments. According to NBC...we wasn't just whistling Dixie.
    NBC found; respiratory flora (spit...eeewwww) & candida albicans
    (turns out this is vaginal in origin & hardy...double & triple...eeeewww!)
    on the handrails of NYC escalators. I have a hard enough time just getting on
    an escalator without killing myself, & now there is just no way in hell
    that I'm going to touch the vile, cheesy, filthy, disgusting handrail.
    I foresee a nasty fall coming my way.

    Tuesday, February 15, 2005


    It Was a Fine Day After All

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    OK...so my Valentine’s Day is over & it didn’t suck (hooray).

    Hubby unexpectedly made me my tea in the morning & he didn’t even make
    fun of me for putting soy milk in it (could I be one of the few people of earth
    who actually like soy & tofu? He thinks I am).

    He called me on my cell as I was driving to work, just to say, “hi”.

    When I got home from work late, he had made the dinner I had planned.
    How nice it was, to walk in the door to smells of garlic & red wine...
    (he also bought my favorite red wine for me).

    We didn’t exactly eat dinner by candlelight (does TV light count as romantic?).
    There was a show on The Discovery Channel about aircraft carriers
    (called Anatomy of a Supercarrier & it was surprisingly interesting...
    we had to watch it because...you know...it’s Carrier Week...after all).

    He cleaned up the kitchen for me (I’m not kidding when I say, seeing him
    clean...is always a turn on).

    We went upstairs to bed & I’m happy to say...he never did get to watch
    Sports Center last night.

    Monday, February 14, 2005


    Chick's Valentine's Day

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    Just kidding...I'll let you know how it goes...

    Thursday, February 10, 2005


    I Heart You

    This is for everyone out there who didn't love my post concerning
    Valentine's Day. Did I sound bitter? Was I raining on other people's parades?
    Did I sound like a 3rd grader with no valentines in my cubby?

    I'll have you know, in 3rd grade, I not only got valentines from my 2 best
    girlie friends...but I also got a very special, hearts & flowers valentine
    from my secret heart's desire. Joey M. gave me a big smacker of a card.
    Inside he wrote that he loved me (the 'o' in love was shaped like a heart
    & that got to my 3rd grader heart). He wrote that I was his 'true love'.
    My little girl self was all a twitter. I found out later that he wrote the exact
    same words to Sandy (my arch nemesis). He knew that Sandy & I had it in
    for each other (in the was only little girls can)...so I guess he figured
    we'd never find out. Well, buddy, we did & it wasn't pretty.

    Thinking back on it now, maybe this did color my view of this holiday
    in some small way. Maybe it helped form the cynical, slightly bitchy side
    of myself. Maybe I should just SUCK IT UP & get into the fucking spirit
    of this joyous holiday. 3rd grade was a long time ago & I haven't thought
    of Joey M. or his 2 timing heart in a very long time. I've had some kick ass
    Valentine's Days between now & then (really, I have...)

    So, enjoy your Valentine's Day any way you see fit. Me? I think I might
    give a little & hope for a little in return...& I mean that in the most positive,
    UNcynical kind of way.

    Wednesday, February 09, 2005


    My Faery

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    It's hard not to believe in faeries when small, wonderful things appear
    out of absolutely nowhere. The building I work in is normal in every way,
    with one huge exception. The third floor ladies room has become a haven. Apparently, a faery has been hired. She put a pretty basket of potpourri
    on the bathroom counter one morning. The next day, she couldn't leave well enough alone, I see that she's tied a very girlie pink ribbon on the handle
    of the basket. Later, I see that she's but lavender hand creme on the counter.
    A couple of days after that...another basket, this one is filled with tampons
    (yeah, I know, all the comforts of home). The best one, the one that inspired this post, I came in this morning to find...mints on the counter!
    I was in shock. (I can't eat mints from the bathroom...
    but that's beside the point).
    Sometimes it's the small things in life that make your day.

    Monday, February 07, 2005


    Rednaked's Music Questions

    Rednaked shared some interesting music questions on Friday,
    here's my shot at it (this is for you too, Joe.)

    Random 10

    1. Everything But The Girl- Come on Home
    2. Snow Patrol- Chocolate
    3. Eminem- Mockingbird
    4. The Band- Ophelia
    5. Matthew Sweet- Everything Changes
    6. Warren Zevon- Dirty Life & Times
    7. Crowded House- Weather with You
    8. The Donnas- It's So hard
    9. Puddle of Mudd- She Hates Me
    10. Lifehouse- Everything

    Total amount of music files on your computer


    The last CD you bought

    Jet- Get Born. I love the rhythm of "Are You Gonna Be my Girl"
    & the black & white graphics are great.

    The last song you listened to before this message

    Norah Jones- Turn Me on. I'm not a big fan of all of her songs but,
    this song speaks to me in an unpretentious way "...My glass is waiting
    for some fresh ice cubes ...I'm just sitting here waiting for you
    ...to come on home and turn me on ..."

    Five Songs that mean a lot

    1. Joan Osborne- St. Teresa
    "...Oh, St. Teresa, higher than the moon
    reach down for the sweet stuff, when she looks at me...
    I know any man sees you like I see..."

    2. The Pretenders- Kid
    "...but you forgive though you don't understand
    ...all my sorrows, all my blues..."

    3. Patsy Cline- Walkin' After Midnight
    "...I'm always walkin' after
    midnight searchin' for you..."

    4. Bruce Springsteen- Secret Garden
    "...She'll let you deep inside...
    but there's a secret garden she hides..."

    5. Kate Bush- This Woman's Work
    (To be honest, Theresa reminded my of
    this one)
    "... All the things that you needed from me...all the things
    that you wanted for me...all the things that I should've given...
    I didn't..."

    I'd really like to pass this to EVERYONE who finds there way here.

    Is that a cope out?! Come on...just do it....please?

    Friday, February 04, 2005


    Happy #^*)ing Friday:

    I'm so glad that it's finally Friday. So far, today:

    My button popped off of my pants & shot across the room
    (I'm still feeling bloated...& this definitely was NOT good
    for my self-esteem today).

    The lining of my shoe came undone (you know, when it slides
    down into the depths of your shoe & gets all gummed up
    by the ball of your foot).

    The underwire of my bra is pinching me in an unpleasant way
    (only under my left boob & it's a mystery as to why).

    I have a tear in my panties (I may have gotten them stuck on the
    bathroom cabinet handle this morning & I may have pulled them off
    in a not so gentle way).

    I hit myself in the eye with my phone because I was trying to answer
    an important call in a hurry (cursing into the phone always leads
    to a good first impression, right?).

    & it's not even lunch time yet : (

    & The Days Goes on...

    Some things...like this...just get you through a day like today.

    Thanks, Nate : )

    Wednesday, February 02, 2005


    Outfit For The Day

    Originally uploaded by Chick.
    I'm blatantly stealing (...or should I say...borrowing? Does that sound better?) this idea from Average Joe's site today. He posted every item of clothing that he's wearing today on his sexy bod today. He even posted a self portrait with the most incredible stick arms you've ever seen (& who doesn't have a thing for stick arms?).

    Here's my version. This is my outfit today. I was feeling just a bit bloated this morning...so I tried to dress myself up somewhat, to make myself feel better.

    The shoes are my current favorites, they made me so happy, just putting them on my feet this morning. I did a spontaneous little dance of joy.
    (Come on, I'm not the only one who does silly things like this
    ...am I?!).

    Tuesday, February 01, 2005


    Happy February

    I just caught a glimpse of a tacky cardboard cutout of a heart
    on someone's office wall (& in this case, I know it wasn't a gift from her kid).
    It's Pepto Bismal pink with fake lace around the outside.
    If I was...oh...I don't know...maybe an eight year old girl,
    I'd hang hearts like this all over my little girl room.
    I'd paste them to my canopy bed. I'd stick one on my little brother's door
    & he'd punch me in the arm while he crumpled it up.

    Yeah, I know that Valentine's Day is coming up, I'm just not a fan.
    I don't want to receive flowers because he feels obligated
    (don't you just hate that word?) to get them for me,
    due to this overly commercialized excuse for a holiday.
    I don't want to go out for an over priced diner & have to endure lame service
    & lukewarm food. I don't want a quickie while watching Sports Center.

    I want all those things (except I DO want a great meal).
    I want them because he actually WANTS to give them to me,
    NOT because it's freakin' Valentine's Day.

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