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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
"Let the Fun Out"
stump your friends with trivia like this...& they'll love you forever...
or be so annoyed that they'll kick you in the ass...can't possibly lose
either way!) in my fridge? I found it there last night...while I was standing
in front of the fridge with the door open...looking for nothing in particular.
My sis must have brought it with her sinful pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.
Anyway, there it was. I looked at it ...& in an instant...I had the cap off...
& a mouthful of cream. Sweet lord...that stuff is yummy! What the fuck
am I going to do with this stuff??? I'm alone for the next couple of days...
alone in the house with Reddi-Wip ? Holy Mother of God...
what's a girl to do?! It just seems a shame to lick it off myself.
I feel like a kid with a cool toy...& no one to play with.
I checked out The Reddi-Wip site. They have a section called
Reddi-Wip Moments. If I wasn't alone...I'd send mine in.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Maintain That Fat Ass During the Holidays
(& believe me...I NEED to go this time of year...
when you’re short EVERY pound shows)...
I bumped into Wendy. Wendy’s one of the skinny girls who work at the gym.
I had no grace today...so I really did... literally bump into her...
I know because I felt her bones hit me (like I said...she’s SKINNY).
She was hanging a sign on the bulletin board at the entrance to the gym.
What it said struck me as comical. In big, bold type, it said
“Maintain Your Weight During the Holidays". I looked into her eyes
& said that I didn't think I'd have too much of a friggin problem maintaining
my weight! I meant it to be funny...but maybe I said it in a harsh...
mean sounding way...because she didn't laugh. She told me the sign
was meant to motivate everyone to stay in shape...especially this time of year.
Apparently, she has NO sense of humor... due to the fact that she probably
never eats...come to think of it...that would make me crabby...but would it
make me stupid too?
Friday, November 26, 2004
on this day after Thanksgiving...
in my now... too tight jeans. I'm comfortably numb.
Yesterday went by in a blur of mashed potatoes,
turkey, gravy...oh my...I ate like a dying girl...
with an appetite for life.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
These Shoes Were Made For...
These are my new dancing shoes (after a night of dancing). The Kate Spade shoes I posted earlier were not in my budget...so I fell in love with these instead.
Monday, November 22, 2004
for work this morning with the best of intentions (as I always try to),
but I seemed to have missed the mark somehow today. I'm wearing
black pants with a grey top & black boots. Very bland & without color,
I thought...but then I saw the PINK...& I DO mean pink, panties I had on
underneath. They match perfectly to the PINK bra I also have on today.
My mood is consistent with my wardrobe. I feel sort of conservative
& restrained on the outside...but full of life & color on the inside.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
it was as big as...
Well, I lived to tell the tale, I'm happy to say. I sucked him up into the vacuum with the longest attachment that I could find. My husband's going to wonder why the vacuum is outside on the front porch when he gets home, he's going to make fun of me when I tell him my story...especially the part about how spidey could easily crawl back out of the vacuum & terrorize me some more...but I know he'd say nothing if he only knew the actual size of the beast I killed with the vacuum...besides, he wasn't here to do his job & he knows that's why I married him in the first place.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
wrote, "I can see it all there in your eyes...what we have is enough"
I've decided that I have a need to appreciate all that I have in my life that
make if worth actually getting out of bed each morning. (NO, this is not some
kind of Thanksgiving inspired, hokey, sunshine & light post that could possibly
make you vomit, at least I hope it's not).
Sometimes, it's nice to feel you have enough. By that I mean, to take a break
from wanting. To be content to as long as you can stand it. So far, I've felt
this way for...oh, I don't know...maybe two hours, pretty good, huh?
Without going into detail about these things (because they also suck sometimes)
these things make me feel like I have 'enough':
My husband (who takes my shit...sometimes.)
Our families (unconditional love comes to mind.)
Funny & caring friends near & far (crap, do I have to put Dick in this
My great house (it's got a cool, Brady Bunch oven in a brick wall in the kitchen.)
My cool, creative job (it doesn't suck.)
Ah, the peace I feel from knowing that I have enough. How long do you think this feeling will last?
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
For The Love of Shoes
Women & shoes...ever since I wore my first Maryjane's in grade school, my love of shoes has known no bounds. Would I spend $255.00 on these kick ass Kate Spade pumps if it was at all possible at this point in my life? You bet my booty I would! A girl's got to have her indulgences, right? The instant gratification I'd experience, first trying them on, walking around the store (falling more in lust with the shoes from the new...4 precious inches higher height that these shoes would bestow on me), paying for them & finally leaving the store with my treasure. If someone asked me if I'd whore myself out for shoes...I'd have to say...depends on the shoes : )
Inspired by a short post involving...shoes by Naughtier Nate
Thursday, November 11, 2004
THE LAND OF HAPPY
Have you been to The Land of Happy,
Where everyone’s happy all day,
Where they joke and they sing,
Of the happiest things,
And everyone’s jolly and gay?
There’s no one unhappy in Happy’
There’s laughter and smiles galore.
I have been to The Land of Happy-
What a bore!
From Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
...although, right about now...I wouldn’t say...no...to one of those ‘HAPPY PILLS’ that Dick’s been getting from his girlfriend.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Last night, while innocently driving myself home from another day at work, this maniac in a beat up blue car decided to cut me off. Fine, I think to myself, I’ll just turn the radio up & keep singing (I had a funky station on the radio & it was playing “It’s Raining Men”...nope, I’m not kidding...what a fun, silly song, great to sing along with & always makes me smile). I truly did not want to deal with road rage at this point in my day. Up the road I traveled, one lane became two lanes. Mr. “I just cut you off” slows to a crawl, forcing me to pass his ass in the left lane (proper passing procedure, I do believe). Somehow, this angers him. Suddenly, he turns his brights on behind me, blinding me. Why is he mad? He cut ME off?! Why would you try & blind the person in front of you? Making me lose control could only cause an accident for him too. I know that you shouldn’t try to comprehend “CRAZY” because there’s no explaining it...but who...in their sane mind, doesn’t try to understand what these people could possibly be thinking by doing such things?
He continued to follow me the rest of my journey home. I couldn’t lead him to my house & let this crazed wacko know where I lived...so what did I do? I pulled into my neighbor’s driveway. Nice of me to bring senseless lunacy to his doorstep, right? As I sat in my car, my heart beating through my chest, the hysterical fanatic sealed the driveway off by blocking it with his car. The only option that sprang into my brain was; I could beep the horn like a mad woman, in a, probably, vain attempt to scare him away...but I thought, this could backfire & bring the neighbor out of his house where he would be undoubtedly shot dead by this lunatic. My best option would have been using my cell phone to call the police, but unfortunately for me, I can not get any reception in my neighborhood. As I sat in my car, feeling like a scared idiot, Mr. crazy just might have had enough (demented psychos, thankfully...are not known for their infinite patience). He screeched away, doing about 80 MPH down my quite, residential street.
I will live to see another day...& the crazy people get more time to think about new ways to torture me or plot my demise.
Monday, November 08, 2004
Just Soooo Silly
OK...how funny is this? I created a highly conceptualized (ha!) version of me & Dick on avatars.yahoo.com. This is making me laugh out loud...it’s just so silly. Anything for a good laugh on a Monday : )
Friday, November 05, 2004
I'd do ya
Thursday, November 04, 2004
What Type Of Girl Are You???
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
She smiled at me...
“She smiled at me. It was a beautiful smile: one she made with her eyes, not just her mouth; one that came from her heart, not just just her head because I had touched something inside her that no one else ever did anymore. I didn’t know how I knew that but I did and even though I wanted to violate her a hundred different ways physically, I didn’t want to go anywhere near her soul.”
How...I ask you...could you NOT be pulled in by writing like that?
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Anyone who can make cartoons out of this mess...is OK with me : )
Vote today...or you have absolutely NO RIGHT to complain about any of it! & what fun would that be anyway?!