I met a philosopher in a bar the other night. I was waiting for my terminally late friend to show up when...AK parked his butt on a barstool next to mine.

He had a killer opening line...it went something like..."You're not the kind of
girl I usually see sitting all alone at a bar"...I stared at him blankly...what
could I say? Instead of saying..."what the hell does that mean?" I decided to
give him the benefit of the doubt...I was in the mood for a good chat & he
seemed willing to listen to me babble.

He was absentmindedly twisting his wedding ring...he told me he was married to a good woman...but he still felt the need to go out most nights without her.

Here's where I tell this stranger all the blah, blah...facts of my situation...being
married & needing things that I'm not currently receiving...(damn my late
friend...I can be very chatty when I've been drinking).

AK: Respectfully, I ask...from your heart...do you feel you've taken care of him
the way a wife should care for her man...? (Respectfully...my ass...there's no
respectful way to ask if you're servicing your husband to his liking...is
there?!) I want you to know that a woman holds the key to happiness in 99% of
relationships. Do you feel you can seek out & give your husband what he needs,
or is it never going to happen? If so, the road is clear. If not, perhaps it's
best to move on & begin again, inspite of the pain you'll feel... sorry for the
unsolicited (drunken) advise.

Me: the question of...did I do all I should have for my husband...I can honestly
say I'm doing my best. Why do you think that is?...women controlling happiness?

AK: Because men are much less complex. We're happy to have our partner's
approval, appreciation, & acceptance...but you can tell us we're loved a
thousand times a day & it doesn't get through...we're primitive in that regard &
must feel love from our partner...through the affection, her hunger, her
willingness to ensure we feel it intimately.
...Then, we'll pretty much paint your house, care for your kids, & swim thru
sharks to make you happy...and the woman who is wiling to put forth the energy
& respect for what I'm explaining...will likely have a loyal & happy partner.
But it seems very hard for a woman to maintain.

Me: I always find it interesting to know what men are thinking...really...

AK: Then you are lucky because that curiosity will likely serve you well.

Me: I hope so.
...& I know you are not talking solely about sex...right?

AK: Not entirely...

Sex is how men are assured of your love, acceptance & appreciation - - but there
are many more ways a woman can be nice, be happy & get her partner to do
anything she really needs from him...happily.

You just have to remember to nurture those 3-"A's" and when the time is right,
seal it with sex.

Me: appreciation, acceptance...& what?
(here's where I'm hoping the 3rd "A" is not anal)

AK:...affection.

Me: (whew!)