...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005



Getting back to the gym yesterday was good for me. I sweated it out.
It was tough...but not as tough as the day I went last summer & got stuck
in my skirt.

All started well. I went down to the gym on my lunch hour.
I entered the locker room. All was as it should be. I got a locker & took off my
(fabulous) shoes. Next, I started to unzip my favorite black skirt, but
something was wrong, the zipper wouldn't budge. Not an inch, not half an
inch...NOTHING. I pulled & I tugged...there was no movement at all.
I backed up to the mirror (the damn zipper was in the back of the skirt)
to see what the problem could possibly be. I twisted my head as far
as it would go & peered into the mirror at my zipper. It all looked fine
to me...no material caught, no bent zipper teeth...like I said

I was alone in the locker room stuck in my no longer favorite black
skirt. I wouldn't have been to proud to ask for help, had some else just
been in there at the time...but I was NOT going to go out in public
& ask someone to tug on my zipper. So, on went the shoes & off I went
back to work for the rest of the day. No workout! (all the while, knowing
that I was trapped in my clothes...but thankfully, it was a skirt &
not pants & I still had the freedom to pee).

That night, the first thing I did when I got home was attack
my claustrophobia inspiring skirt with a vengeance. If I couldn't
get the zipper down, my next thought was, pull the blasted thing
straight up & over my head. In the insane state I was in, I thought,
yeah, this could work...so I worked for what seemed like FOREVER
& finally got the skirt up & over my breasts. Can you picture it...
do you know who stupid I looked? The one flaw in my master plan?
I forgot to account for my arms! There was just no way that sucker
would budge past my armpits!

This was the point where I sat on the floor & cried...because my
husband wasn't due home till late that night & I'd lost all sense of reason.
I called a girlfriend on her cell. She just happened to be at a local
pub near my house. I showed up at the pub with a pair of needle nose
pliers & a look of desperation.

In the end, we couldn't stop laughing as she ruined my once favorite
little black skirt by ripping the zipper down with the pliers
in the ladies room of the pub. She felt so bad (she tried not to tear it),
she bought me drinks for the rest of the night...
yeah, I stayed & got tipsy in my damaged skirt.

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