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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Bloodless
I gave blood yesterday AND I did it while I had my period.
What was I thinking?! I no longer have ANY blood in my veins.
It's true, I tried to fill that damn plastic bag with my B+ high grade
hemoglobin & I ran out of the stuff. I squeezed that little bean bag ball
till my arm fell asleep. The red stuff was flowing nicely down the little tube,
then blammo! All of a sudden, all was quite & still. As hard as I squeezed,
still nothing more came out.
The nurse just laughed when I told her my theory. She said something
along the lines of, "Lie back down, you didn't even fill half the bag."
This, from the woman who had, moments earlier, done the worst job
of finding a vein & sticking me with a blasted needle
(she tried so many times that I now look like a junky).
I didn’t know that if you can’t give a complete pint of blood...none of it is used.
It’s an all or nothing deal.
I’m sitting here, cold & bloodless today, with bruises on my arms, having failed
miserably in my attempt to do something good for humanity.
So, I'm giving up...I'm going to let people like Dick...lead the blind around
the mall...of course he failed to tell you that he thought it was funny to lead
them into stores & lie to them about where they were. He lead a business man
into Victoria’s Secret...actually told him he was wearing boxer briefs,
when actually, he was wearing these.
But in Dick's defense...aren’t they pretty?
What was I thinking?! I no longer have ANY blood in my veins.
It's true, I tried to fill that damn plastic bag with my B+ high grade
hemoglobin & I ran out of the stuff. I squeezed that little bean bag ball
till my arm fell asleep. The red stuff was flowing nicely down the little tube,
then blammo! All of a sudden, all was quite & still. As hard as I squeezed,
still nothing more came out.
The nurse just laughed when I told her my theory. She said something
along the lines of, "Lie back down, you didn't even fill half the bag."
This, from the woman who had, moments earlier, done the worst job
of finding a vein & sticking me with a blasted needle
(she tried so many times that I now look like a junky).
I didn’t know that if you can’t give a complete pint of blood...none of it is used.
It’s an all or nothing deal.
I’m sitting here, cold & bloodless today, with bruises on my arms, having failed
miserably in my attempt to do something good for humanity.
So, I'm giving up...I'm going to let people like Dick...lead the blind around
the mall...of course he failed to tell you that he thought it was funny to lead
them into stores & lie to them about where they were. He lead a business man
into Victoria’s Secret...actually told him he was wearing boxer briefs,
when actually, he was wearing these.
But in Dick's defense...aren’t they pretty?