...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Monday, April 25, 2005


My Morning

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Imagine this...

You’re riding the train into the city on your way to work.
You’re having the sort of shitty day that starts with a fall on your butt
in the shower. You feel every bump of the train & your sore ass aches
on the cold hard seat.

There’s a man sitting across from you. He’s reading the paper.
He’s nicely dressed in a Canali suit & Mephisto shoes (I tend to notice
well put together people...but if that last sentence annoys you about me...
skip it...I’m OK with that). He looks up from his paper long enough
to look at me & sense that I’m having a crap ass day. He puts his paper down
on the seat next to him.

I’m grateful & surprised at what happens next. He comes over & stands
in front of me. His eyes lock onto mine. His left hand reaches down
& touches me precisely in that spot. At first I think,

How did he know I am having such an unfulfilling day?

Then I think, Hmmm...a southpaw might be just what I need today.

Next thought, after the way my morning started, I definitely deserve
an orgasm, it’s the least I can do for myself (& if he is offering
to help me out, who am I to say no?)

He moves his hand just the right amount & with the right rate of pressure.
Even through my clothes...I can feel my day begin to get better.
The heat, the pressure & the mind emptying need for release are minutes away.

Some of the other passengers look my way...
I can see that they are all thinking things like,

Good for her &

That certainly looks like it beats coffee as an early morning pick-me-up.

I start breathing heavier & my mind leaves my body & flies up over the train
till it reaches what may be salvation.

After all is said & done, the extremely accommodating & nice gentleman
I’d almost just met (could any of this count as actually meeting?) looks up
when his stop is called. He kisses me deep & hard as the doors of the train
begin to open...then he’s gone.

Did I imagine the whole thing? Could that have positively just happened?
If it didn’t, then why am I feeling so sated & satisfied? If it didn’t happen,
why was I just publicly moaning on the PATH train in front of the other
morning commuters? If it didn’t happen I say, thank you imagination,
you’re almost as good as the real thing.


OK, if you’re a guy, your spot will be different.

You can certainly substitute a girl wearing Versace instead
of the suity guy...that works for me too.

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