I saw the movie Closer recently. If you haven't seen it...& want to
see it...don't read my opinion of this retched film. Stop reading right
now...I'll try not do give away the pitiful ending...in case you have a
desire to see this soul-less pit of a movie anyway.

I was looking forward to enjoying this movie. I gave it every chance
to get better. I sat through the whole damn thing...more as a test of
will...than anything else. I'm proud of myself for enduring this
coldhearted, sluggish excuse for a movie.

Here's a review from the web site:

"...A witty, romantic, and very dangerous love story about chance
meetings, instant attractions, & casual betrayals. A look at four
strangers - Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen - with
one thing in common: each other. CLOSER "VIBRATES WITH EROTICISM &
BRUISING LAUGHS..."

First of all...why do they feel the fucking need to SHOUT AT ME?! I
seriously do not think that even VIBRATING EROTICISM is something that I
want YELLED at me! & what the fucking hell does bruising laughs mean? I
do not get the whole...pain for pleasure thing...& it definitely is not
funny...yeah...let me smack you till you're black & blue & see if
you're still laughing.

At one point during this excruciatingly unkind excuse for a film
Julia Robert's new hubby comes home from a business trip. He confesses that
while he was away...he slept with a prostitute. He asks if she's going
to leave him. She proceeds to tell him that she's been sleeping with
Jude Law for a secretive year. He calls her a...what else...slut (but I
thought we just established the fact that he LIKES sluts...so what's the
problem here?!) At this point...I simply do not care about any of these
unemotional, heartlessly self involved, destructive idiots. I hate them
all & don't give a small shit about what happens to them.

It would have made me smile if a huge shark came out of The River
Thames & made a midnight snack out of them all, limb by bloody limb. That
ending would have justified watching this mess for two hours...but
alas...if was not to be.