Good question. Any one of the things listed below may...or may not...be true:

• His obsession with the breasts of Dolly Parton have made him go on a long, arduous & time consuming journey to find her & ultimately fondle her bigger than life boobies.

• The image above of Dolly doing her patriotic thang...isn't really Dolly at all...it's Dick decked out in drag. It's his oddly moving way of paying tribute to the object of his stalker-like desire & his country...all at the same time.

• He ran off & got engaged to his girlfriend (POD woman)...because she finally opened up her poop shoot to him.

• He no longer wants anything to do with this blog or me...due to the fact that he refuses to have anything to do with someone who makes fun of his fiancé's holy poop shoot.

• He became very involved with the cleaning lady at his new job...his opening line of..."Usted tiene un anus hermoso" won her over (big time).

• After accidentally spilling his beloved Guinness & muttering something about the ungodly tragedy of "wasting a pint of the good stuff"...he hasn't been able to control his sobbing since that fateful day.

• He fell in love with a hot, lusty soccer mom at one of his son's games & hasn't left the comfort of her mini van in months.

Guess which one of these things is true...or...better yet...tell me if you've seen Dick lately & where you've seen him...because I'm just the kind of good natured friend who'd come & get him...then beat him to a pulp for not posting...