...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


Too Much Goo

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I found myself standing in the middle of a Bath & Body Works store. Those type of stores just ask for trouble...am I right? They happily invite all who come through her doors to touch every godamed thing. I was in a touchy, feely mood...so I started my journey by molesting the nearest tube of moisturizer. It turned out to be something vile...like apple, pecan enriched lotion...eww...I'm not a big fan of most of the foody smells. I moved on to cucumber melon body
cream...ok...I'm already discrediting my...no food smells...rule...but the cuke
was doing something funky to my brain (that's my defense...& I'm sticking
to it). I squeezed some lotion into my hand & started rubbing it into
my hand & arms. The trouble started when I found myself with too much
cucumber melony goopy goo in the palms of my hands. What to do...what to

I rubbed some on my bare legs, then covered my stomach area...but
alas...it was like the goo regenerated itself in my hands...I looked
around...but no one was noticing my pain. I cut my way to the beginning of
the line (much to the chagrin of the other shoppers who were waiting
patiently to purchase their necessary evils). I asked clueless Kate (a
teen with very little in the smarts department) if she had a tissue behind
the counter for me...& I showed her my goo filled hands...& made
a...help me...face. All she said was...no.

I looked at her...then I looked at the gunk in my hands...then I
looked at her again...ok, if this girlie was not going to be of any help at
all...I would have to take matters into my own lotion oozing hands. I
was just about to wipe them on one of the tableclothed display tables
(making quite sure that Ms. Katie-Kate could see what her inaction had
regrettably lead me to do)...when a kindly older lady saw what I was
about to do...& dug a Kleenex out of her purse. She shoved it in my general
direction. I looked at it closely...hoping that it was an not a
used tissue...(thank the good lord in heaven...it was new).

As I reached for the tissue...a great big blobby glob of Cucumber Melon Body Pleasures Cream crashed to the floor...& splattered onto
a nearby woman's suede shoes. I saw it happen...but was helpless to
stop it. My first thought was...oooohh...that ain't coming out...(have you
ever tried getting goop of any kind out of suede?)...my second thought
was...who the hell wears suede in August?

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