Help me (hep me)...I'm going under...Thanksgiving is pulling me under...the undertow is strong (there might even be a rip current & swimming parallel to the shore line does not seem to be getting me any closer to safety).

My Mother called me from her car this morning (At 6:30 AM...wake up that way & you wouldn't be cheery either) to ask me if I had a handle on everything involved in my planned festival of food tomorrow. Since she was stuck in traffic on her way into work...she thought she'd just go right ahead & share the joy with me. I took the day off partly to avoid the traffic associated with this day...but I got to revel in the joy of honking horns & frazzled nerves anyway (thanks Mom)...the phone rang:

Chick: Herumph (at 6 AM...you won't get much more from me...although...if you want morning sex...I suggest giving it the ol' college try...you just never know).

Mom: Hi, I'm stuck in traffic, just thought I'd give you a call. Have you gotten everything ready for tomorrow?

Chick: Huh? What's tomorrow?

Mom: Honestly (said in that...annoyed mom voice...I know it well).

Chick: Yes Mom...all systems are go.

Mom: Tell me what you've done & I'll let you know if you forgot anything.

Chick: Mom, it's ok...I don't want you to have to worry about it...leave it to me (as if she only could).

Mom: Well...alright...if you think you've got everything covered (not sounding sure...at all)..

Chick: I think I do (A BIG FAT LIE).

Mom: Blah, blah...(I may have actually dosed off for a minute)...something about her giant coffee being a huge mistake...'cuz now she has to pee (not that proper Mom would ever use the word pee).

Chick: I ask her if she's passed the big lake yet...the one with the waterfall? I say something about all the rain we had last night, I talk about what beverages we'll be having tomorrow...I try to make her laugh (shake that bloated bladder...SHAKE IT)...I tell her what she always used to tell me...don't think about it...

Mom: I have to go find a rest room NOW...

Chick: I hope you make it...

Mom: Click...

Chick: zzzz...

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving & no one drives YOU nuts (or is that too much to hope for?).