...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006



Ever have one of those days when you should have stayed in bed?
I take that back...it's not enough.

What I mean to say is...you should very well have stayed in bed with the covers over your head & never once peaked out from under them.

Ever have a day like that?
My day was yesterday.

The dork in me was smiling up a storm as I walked down my street early in the morning.
Early morning walk?...why the hell not?
Hubby had just left for work.
As I saw him remote the garage door closed in slow motion...
My mood was shot.
Crap...I'm LOCKED OUT!

I ran like a maroon after him...arms wildly waving.

I had my iPod on which for some reason made me forget to scream while I was doing this.
He drove on.

Shit, shit, shit.

Don't you just hate that feeling?
From idiotic euphoria to feeling totally & completely powerlessly incapacitated in under 3.2 seconds.

All I had with me was my good sense & my iPod.

I ran over to the neighbor's house (who I barely know...but she was home...so she needed to be my buddy at the moment, damn it).
I told her my dilemma & she let me use her phone.
I called Hubby & left a message...ugh...answer damn it!
(but I was all sugar & sweet dumbness...'cuz neighbor lady has listening in).
I was dying to just shout into the phone...
FUCK...I'm LOCKED the fuck out!
Anyway, once done with the phone I left.

I checked all my doors & windows.
locked up tighty tight.

Maybe he'd turn around when he gets my message.
I can wait.
I don't need rescuing.
I don't.

I went to the back of my house & jogged in place on the patio.
I jogged for one song.
Two songs.
Three songs.

No rescuing yet!

Now not only was I cold & outside...
I'd just added sweat to the mix.
"What an asshole"...I thought about my out on the street self.

I sat for what seemed like hours on my front porch.
OK...it actually WAS hours.

I walked to the end of my street & back.
Still no sign of any of the help that I wished I hadn't had to ask for in the first bleeping place.

I actually tried to break down the front door with my shoulder.
I ran into it with about 90% force.
(I held 10% back for the shear stupidity of it).
Ouch...didn't budge anyway.

I studied my garden for a good rock to jam through my window.
I found one & wound up like a relief pitcher in the bottom of the 8th with 2 outs & a full count.
I hesitated.
I really didn't want to hurt my home.
Did I have a choice?

SLAM, CRASH...& I jammed my arm through the hole I'd just created.
I should have cleared the glass first...but the adrenaline was pumping & I was ALMOST IN!

I can not tell you the absolute combination of satisfaction stirred with guilt, mixed with relief I felt upon opening the front door & being on the inside again at last.

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