Never understood what all the fuss was about concerning PMS. Will I hear crap for this statement? Yes.

Here's the thing. I got my period on Friday & was feeling sort of OK. No drugs were taken & no one was the wiser. Cut to later & my hour long ride home from work. Halfway into it, the Earth shook in a non glorious way. A few good cramps gripped the lower half of my body & settled in the small of my back threatening to creep up my spine. I jolted myself as upright as I could in the seat of my car. Of course I had some Advil in my bag...but nothing to drink (I can drink like a thirsty camel at home...but once I'm in a moving vehicle it's time to pee every 10 blocks).

I thought about sucking on a pill but...eeewww & I can't swallow one with only girl spit alone, damn.

Half an hour of pain was followed by me getting home & running through the door as fast as I could. I threw my bag on a chair & jammed my hand into a pocket where the stash should have been...NOTHING. Shit, I endured mind numbing pain in places that men never knew existed...for the last half an hour & THIS IS MY REWARD?! NO END TO MY PAIN?!

I started grabbing things out of my bag...hoping to find relief. As I placed my wallet carefully on the table, then daintily dove into my bag again to delicately take out my iPod I thought, nope, still no Advil anywhere...WHERE COULD IT BE?! WHAT IF IT'S NOT THERE?!? At this point...the entire contents of my bag somehow landed on my kitchen floor & what do you know...right on the top of this pile of shit was my Advil.

In my humble opinion, PMS has nothing on DMS.