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...a male & female point of view...We are two former coworkers who share similar ideas on what's absurd...or just plain funny...thought we could offer a unique view on life & stuff...

Saturday, October 06, 2007

 

Be a Bad Sport



I was given a book by a sweetie. All of it made me laugh & I do most of these things already anyway. Here are a list of little things to do to maintain your sanity : )

"Enough already. The prescriptions & advice on these pages are meant as an antidote to niceness run rampant."

If you can do the time, do the crime.
Signal left; turn right.
Shake hands with your left hand.
Read other people's mail.
Talk with your hand over your mouth.
Give little kids clothes for their birthdays.
Sniffle a lot.
Cut people off in the middle of their sentences.
Slouch.
Add insult to injury.
Borrow a book & dog-ear the pages.
Mumble.
Leave a wet lollipop on the new sofa.
Don't dot your i's or cross your t's.
Develop a truly tasteless foul mouth..
Blow out other people's birthday candles.
Get hysterical.
If there is going to be a fight, make sure you start it.
Repeat yourself.
Repeat yourself.
Touch strangers.
Alternately raise and lower your voice to make people question their hearing.
Dream up special requests for waiters & waitresses.
Wear taps on your shoes.
Touch the paintings at the museum.
Toss pants with tissues in the pockets into the washing machine.
Cross at the red or the green or the yellow.
Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you.
Tell jokes at funerals.
Make fun of all accents.
Bite your dentist's finger.
When others are in a hurry, take your time.
Walk very slowly, & make sure no one can get past you.
Get up on the wrong side of bed.
Pry.
Spot test "Wet Paint" signs.
Revenge is sweet, get some.
If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.
Dish it out, but don't take it.
Answer the phone with, "What do you want?".
Be a bad sport.


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