So...I called the insurance company today to get them to authorize more sessions with Dr. Ray. I waited for 8...yes 8 minutes to actually talk with a human voice. The voice on the other end of the phone was nice enough...but she had no authority to get anything done & I have no idea why they pay her...plus I think she said her name was Elsie & I think that inspires little to no respect...so she transferred me to Evan. Evan was human right from the get-go. He went through a massive amount of deductions & criteria that have to be met in order for the good people at Aetna to pay for a bleeping thing for a wonderful, law abiding citizen of this planet...like me. Then he read questions from a standardized questionnaire & I answered:

Evan: Any drug or alcohol dependencies?

Me: Isn't that subjective?...but I'll answer...no.

Evan: Any thoughts of suicide?

Me: Homicide maybe...but suicide...no.

Evan: I heard a pause in there...by taking too long you voided your potential insurance payments.

Me: What?

Evan: Just kidding.

I now love him for kidding about mental health while working for a stuffy insurance company. I am going to call him tomorrow just to chat. Oh...he'll be sorry he joked with me alright...but I think he'll pay for my treatment...don't you?

Labels: Help, Silliness