(mine were just boring black...these are better)

If anyone out there knows of a brand of tights that do not fall down effectively giving you a webbed crotch in the process as you’re walking down the street, let me know.

I laughed so hard because that’s exactly what happened to me today & we can’t have tights falling down in public, now can we?…so I decided to hike up my dress because I ended up riding up in the elevator alone & I was just covering up what should remain private as the elevator doors opened to my floor & the security guy was none the wiser.

Oh yeah, & as I was paying for some kind of infused water at lunch time, I dropped my phone on the floor & the battery popped out. I picked it up only to discover that the back of the phone was missing.

Crap.

To my horror I had a feeling that it was now somewhere under the counter in filthland. Like I was going to stick my hand into that abominable darkness. I asked for a spoon & fished around for a bit & found it without trying to think too hard about what else could come crawling out from under there.

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