Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
~ Brendan Gill

The best things in life are silly.
~Scott Adams

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
~Rose Franken

Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.
~ Mike Myers

I walked around for some time today with a mouth full of water & bloated cheeks...just because. Then, when I amused myself enough & couldn't take it anymore, I spit it all out & giggled like mad.

Coworker: I'd like for you to have this done for me by 5pm.

Me: Yeah well...I'd like a puppy & a million dollars & while we're at it...I'd like a piece of chocolate cake that makes me skinny instead of fat &...

Coworker: (walks away)

F 'em if they can't take a joke.

This guy makes the most wonderful sand art. He also does these awesome corporate team building workshops on the beach. Sounds like a great way to clear your head at work.

Have you ever sat at your job on a quiet Friday & thought..."what the fuck did that person just ask me to do? I have no idea."...then though, "fuck 'em...if they can't tell me clearly...fuck 'em".

Too bad you can't get paid anymore if you talk to the wrong people like that at your job...I'm just guessing...but I kind of think that's true.

Can you shake the mood you inexplicably woke up in? Why am I pissed & frustrated today...SOMEONE TELL ME!

I'm not a shouter...so...sorry about that.



Is saw this bumper sticker on the car in front of me last night. 'Fear the turtle' it said...so random & cool...I wanted to know what it meant (if anything). Imagine my disappointment when I looked it up today only to find that it's some sort of motto for the University of Maryland.

Some thoughts that have crossed my mind today at work:

Am I anal enough to take every letter off your keyboard in order to give it a good cleaning? (the thought is making me ass twitch...so...no).

Can I drink from my water bottle without using my hands? (I can...but there is spillage).

Is it in style to have frayed edges on the bottom of your jean legs because they are too long for you...or is that passe? (or is it passé?).

Did anyone watch this week's episode of Rescue Me? The part when Mikey was in the tub getting ready to end it all...it started so grisly...but ended with the razor slipping out of his hands & onto the bottom of the tub, where he inadvertently cut his ass several times on it while screaming...ouch...ouch...jut my kind of humor (kills me).

Some guy just walked past my office door. He was very tall, with this huge bobbing head perched on his frame & I felt like I was watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. His head looked exactly like a balloon float.

I need to get back on my blog reading horse & start reading all of you again. I have no excuses, so I'll offer none.

I got a tea with milk & honey from a little cafe & brought it back to my desk today only to find that it tasted like coffee & I am not a fan but I felt compelled to drink it anyway so as not to waste the .02 cents worth of water that went into my tea fiasco.

Randomness abounds today so I'm embracing it. I had a dream last night about either losing my car or having it stolen...the dream gods weren't very clear on which on it was. You know that feeling...when you either lose something...or someone steals it from you? Well, that's how I woke up this morning. I felt off balance. I looked up stolen cars in the dreamers dictionary & they said, "To dream that you car has been stolen, indicates that you are being stripped of your identity." Huh? What? They went on to say that this either has to do with relationships in your life or your job. Either way...it ain't looking good.

I went shopping with Mom this weekend so we could argue & look at clothes. She has this thing about finding just the right piece of clothing for whichever daughter she's currently shopping with. It was my turn...so we went. She thought it was funny when I bounded out of the dressing room with the ugly linen pants that she picked out for me & I tried on only to humor her (I say humor her early in the day...by the end of the day I find myself doing things to shut her up...but really...is there a difference?). She laughed & said that they made me look tall. She couldn't get over how funny she thought that was. The kissup sales girl chimed in that she thought it was true...yes...they magically elongated my body to epic heights. I stripped off the pants in front of Ms. Iworkoncomission&will sayANTHINGtomakeasale & handed them to her while she looked at me stupidly.

In all my years of blogging...

I've never posted drunk before.

Can you believe it?

No, really, can you?

I had 3 glasses (but who's counting?...not me...so I may be wrong) of red wine.

Then Hubby bounded into the garage to finish putting together some patio furniture.

Why did I think this wouldn't bode well for me.

Read on.

As I cleaned up from dinner...

He shouted that he needed help.

I went into it with the best of intentions.

But the wine didn't help make things easy.

As I was reaching to grab some of the packing materials to help clean up...

the tape got stuck to a package of screws & washers

& what do you know...

ugh.,..they went flying EVERYWHERE.

What happened next was not pretty.

So I'll spare you the details of the screaming & throwing things...

Not to mention the name calling...

But hey, I offer no apologies...because I did none of the screaming (or name calling)...

& I had too much wine to care...

So there.

My cell phone rings & I answer it:

Me: Hello?

I wait .032 seconds & upon hearing nothing...

Me: Hello?

Me: Hello? Hello!

Me: Can you hear me?

Me: Hello?!

JK: (on the other end of the call):...are you done being retarded?!

I'm still laughing.

I'm back from a week at the beach.

Photos to come.

For now I've got some NYC photos for you.

Labels: NYC