Me & mine were headed to the gym today

& as I got in the elevator

someone ran & barely made it on.

What I wanted to say was:

"You made it, Buddy"

What came out was:

"You made it, Bubbles"

I laughed (because I'm easily amused).

He didn't...because he was a prick.

When he got off the elevator I could have sworn I heard a...

"Goodbye, Bubbles"

come out of his mouth.

Maybe I judged him too harshly.

As I was leaning into the trunk of my car the other day

(to change my CD's...I have one of those CD 6-CD changer thingies that resides in my trunk...as if that somehow makes sense)

My neighbor came by to say hello.

He's old as dirt & cute as pie

& usually we get along fine.

He decided his opening comment to me apparently needed some spice because he said, "hi, looks like you gained some weight over the Winter"

I hadn't seen him in a while & quite frankly I now do not care if I ever see the old bastard again.

I mean, does being old & cute give you the right to say such things?

Ever?

To anyone?

(even if they happen to be true?)

I'll answer that...NO!

He walked away after my giant ass & I stood there for an embarrassingly long-assed time in silence & shock.

Don't you just love Summer?

I visited some gardens & some horses lately & took photos of it all.

It made me happy...but might be flower overload for you.

So, click at your own risk.

Ran across a site for this site recently...care to answer too?

Would you rather...?
Fight Mike Tyson
OR
Talk like him?
I already talk like Mike...all baby-like & lispy...but I always thought I sounded more Cindy Brady-ish...baby talk-baby talk...you remember?

Would you rather...?
Have a disarmingly charming penis
OR
A penis so wise as to inspire a cultish following?
I'd have to go with disarming charm...yeah...if I sprouted one of those...I think it would be nice for it to be charming & well mannered...you know...really put people at ease with it.

Would you rather...?
wear on a first date a shirt that says "I'm With Stupid"
OR
one that says "Who Cut The Cheese?"
OK...this one had me peeing just a little bit because I laughed so hard...just kidding...that never happens in real life. I'd have to say...I'd wear the cheese one...because it tickles me in all the right spots.

Would you rather...?
Have a warm hug
OR
A small kiss?
Wow...ponder that one with me...will you? Maybe I'd go with the hug...because there is warmth involved...but small kisses...damn...that wouldn't be a tragedy either...I'm stuck...at a standstill...lost in this question.

Ever been in the perfect mood for some great cookie porn?



Yeah, baby...more...more..

Or how about a good old fashioned chocolate orgy?



OK...if you want to save on calories

There's always these to give you that low-down-tingly-in-the-right-spots feeling too.

I recently found this site & am enamored with it. I love how each artist shares how the item was created. One artist listed the materials she used as 'findings'...gotta love that.



The first item I saw was
this:

Is that not the sweetest thing you have ever seen? It's currently sold out, but I'm sort of pleading with the artist through e-mail to make me one...pppllleeeaaassseee.



The next artist I coveted is
here:

Scrabble tiles...she makes art out of Scrabble tiles...very creative. I think I was taken in by the pretty ribbons & cute tiny boxes. Crap, that girlie thing is coming to the front of my personality again...oh well, I think I'm just going to run with it for now.




Blue

These are a combination of photography, stained glass & wire...hauntingly beautiful & only 29 bucks...wow.



Heartless



Last of the Garden Flowers

You can even shop by color...now we're talking...

I was sloggin it through a sleepy Monday at work

Until I went down the stairway & heard

the janitor singing Bon Jovi in a happy way

He was singing that, "You can't go home" song...

He's wailing, "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright..."

As he climbed down the stairs.

Now, I'm no fan of theirs...

But Mr. Janitor Man's unabashed singing & joyful mood

Sorta got to me.

Of course that was hours ago

& now all I'm left with is that crappy-assed song

playing OVER & OVER & OVER in my head.

Fuck.