So, here's what happened.

Got up this morning...got dressed...all the normal stuff...

Blah, blah, blah...

Drive to the train...so far...so good...

Park in the parking garage.

Stick my arm (ok, my entire body) out of the car window

to get my parking receipt.

As the gate goes up & lets me in I discover I have no wallet.

Um...no $$$, no credit cards & no Metrocard for the train.

What?! I tell Alamar (the parking garage guy) my dilemma.

He smiles (& I see inside his head to the place he has reserved for retards & children) & raises the gate so I can leave & not pay for the 5 minutes of parking I accrued in his garage.

Crap, I call my boss & tell him the (boneheaded) deal.

He laughs with me...no...at me.

I have no id card to get into the 7 steps of hell (fancy security) if I even got as far as work anyway.

I have no identity (am I really here?).

Do I laugh or cry as I drive back home hoping I don't get stopped on the way without a license?!

Yeah, pretty much both at the same time.

Labels: Nothing, Train Stories

Want to hear about hell…

…as I know it…

…it’s the train I was just on…

…mysteriously stalled…

…deep underground…

…hot…

…sticky…

…no seat to be had…

…jammed up against a strangers backpack…

…right in my face…

…nowhere to go…

…what’s that touching my leg…

…don’t look you do not want to know…

…I didn’t catch that last thing you said to me…

…do I look like I speak Indian…

…crap…

…yeah…

…that’s what I smell.

Labels: NYC, Train Stories

Coming home today I was compelled to look up as this extremely skinny girl got on the train.

& I mean she was thin.

She had on a maxi dress that showed off her lack of breasts nicely.

Her dress was wrapped up around her waist & she wore skinny jeans on her stick legs.

She looked about 15 but was probably around 22.

She was tall & very pale (she made me feel tan & that just ain't so).

She had the whole Tilda Swinton look going...

you know...red hair, no eye makeup.



She had dirty fingernails & was clutching a shopping bag from Strawberry tightly in her hands.

Either she was a model (but then why the discount shopping?)

Or she was anorexic...or most probably both.

Anyway, I really wanted to take her home & clean her up & make her eat a sandwich.

But I didn't & now she's in my head & I wonder if I'll see her tomorrow.

Labels: Train Stories

This guy made an art out of peeping at me this morning on my way to catch the train.

So I turned around & took his photo with my cell phone.

What did I have to lose at that point?

Nothing...he was already staring.

He looks sort of sad, doesn't he?

Maybe he could see my blueness too.

Labels: Cell Phone Photo, Photo a Day, Train Stories

I raced to the train just as it was about to leave.

The weight of my day was coming down on me.

No lunch break today...just more deadlines to be met & not enough time to meet them.

The doors of the train snapped shut & then I heard it'

"Praise Jesus"

"I'm Tommy & I'm hungry"

He went into a song & dance about not stealing anymore

About finding the path to righteousness & salvation.

"Got any spare change? Anything will do"

As he came toward me...someone handed him a dollar.

He got to me & I looked away for a sec.

Then he looked right at me & wouldn't look away.

I don't know if I looked kind...or like an easy mark

but because I did nothing for the 2 whole seconds that he looked at me

he felt he had the right to start yelling obscenities my way.

He called me a bitch & a heathen & then moved on to the woman standing next to me.

He called her worse names.

Yeah, that's the way to my generous side.

Now for sure I'd hand over my hard earned cash to this nut.

Brilliant.

Labels: Train Stories

I usually don't stand so close to the end of the platform while waiting for my train.

Today I did & as I stared off onto the tracks lost in my own thoughts...

Something moved down there.

I involuntarily stepped back when I recognized that something as a mouse.

Chills, I tell you...raced up my arms (in a bad, creepy way).

The guy standing next to me laughed.

So, I turned to look the other way

...hoping that I saw no more mice.

This is what (who) I saw.



I saw this guy on Halloween & thought he had a great costume.

Little did I know it wasn't a costume.

Labels: Cell Phone Photo, Photo a Day, Train Stories, WTF