This candy comes from a monastery & their motto is:

“Our candy is a gift of peace & praise of celebration & joy..."

They ain't kidding.

You're feeling: Silly & tired.

To your left: A book about retro sex.

On your mind: Cute undies.

Last meal included: Avacados.

You sometimes find it hard to: Concentrate.

The weather: Too cold for Spring.

Something you have a collection of: Books, shoes, pinatas (I'm kidding about one of them).

A smell that cheers you up: The ocean & also Downey.

A smell that can ruin your mood: Split pea soup.

How long since you last shaved: I never shaved someone else...wait...they're talking about me, right? OK, then, yesterday.

The current state of your hair: Messy.

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): Dumb question...my iPod I guess.

Your skill with chopsticks: I eat dumplings like a rock star with chop sticks..

Which section to head for first in a bookstore: Magazines.

Something you're craving: Chocolate & peace...what a great combination...I'm serious.

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: I'll vote for the lesser of 2 evils.

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: Any place where there's water (that includes the ocean, a lake or even the ladies room at work for a few minutes).

You've always secretly thought you'd be a good: Teacher or medic.

Something that freaks you out a little: Spiders & long lines.

Something you've eaten too much of lately: Bean soup...it doesn't take much to make you feel fuller than you should be.

You have never: Damn, the list is way longer than it should be (for now).

You never want to: Take things I love for granted (I stole this & all these questions from SN...thanks, girlie).

Labels: Currently, Silliness

I took a great walk this morning.

Out into the early morning light.

Odd for me...to say the least.

Mornings suck...or didn't you know?

Yeah, tell that to the happy yellow dog that bounded over to me

& proceeded to knock me down.

Damn, that pup was happy.

Labels: Currently

"...But, then I'd rather be stuck up in a tree
then be tied to it".

I heard this in a song today.

Ever REALLY listen to the words in the songs that you hear?

What the hell does this even mean?

I have no stinkin clue.

BTW...I was a tree climbing kid, were you?

What's that? You don't think it matters?

Wrong, buddy...it does.

Labels: Words

Therapy the 2nd time was better.

I was determined it would be.

I went in clutching a list of things I wanted to talk about.

Only 3 things were on it (I tend to need to oversimplify things...I like that about me...but sometimes it gets in my way. Sometimes I see things as all good or all bad & I miss the little details that could help...& really...when you think about it...what in your life is so ever black & white anyway?).

See that above statement? Yeah, it's like that in my head.

I want things to be simple & easy to grasp...then I go ahead & overanalyze it all anyway.

That's bad when it gets me to the point of paralyzing inaction.

& there you have it in a nutshell (why I am in therapy with a Prius driving, oversharing mindfucker).

Labels: Currently, Help

My weekend was ok.

Watched some baseball (2 out of 3...go Sox!).

Drank some beer...had some ribs.

Felt off center anyway.

Spilled some hurtful beans.

Felt a little bit bad.

Sulked a lot.

Here's the thing...

Is it better to talk about things that you know are going to rip someone's guts out in the process?

Is it always a choice?

Labels: Weekend

Seriously...when I got dressed this morning...

I thought...lesbian...

Yeah, I'm dressed like a lesbian.

(not that there's anything wrong with that).

It just wasn't the look I was aiming to achieve.

Oh well, maybe I'll get some action from a hot woman because of my vibe.

Labels: Style

When you're nervous about something...

does your body react in some small way?

I'm talking about those times when

you don't even recognize the fact that you're apprehensive or uneasy.

It's not a conscious thing.

The night before I went to meet the therapist...

I was washing up before bed.

I looked into the bathroom mirror

& saw red splotches all over the top of my chest.

WTF?!

HIVES!

I haven't had those in years.

I think my body was telling me it needed to release some tension.

Does that ever happen to you?

Labels: Curious, Nothing

After a week of work & being inside I was fairly desperate for some fresh air.

This kind of therapy usually does wonders for me.




OK...so I like birch trees...




I also like reflections. This one reminded me to slow down & really see all the beauty I usually don't notice.









No turtles hanging out yet...still too cold.




It turned into a dramatic sky...but this photo doesn't really do it justice.

Labels: Photos

Walking out of therapy...

I sighed in relief...

& as my breath was leaving my mouth...

the word FUCK inadvertently escaped too.

Damn...that guy did A LOT of talking.

I mean...A LOT.

At one point he even said,..."I'm talking way too much".

Duh.

Now I know way too much about him...

& he knows not so much about me.

I kept getting distracted by a book on his shelf.

Ironically it was called "Driven to Distraction".

(& did he quote STATISTICS at me? Crap...he did...I feel a little ordinary now...like my problems are not unique...yay me...I know...I'm doing this to myself...but did he have to help me?)

The thing is...it made me feel...alone in this...in everything.

At the end he said, "so, what do you think? Want to do this again?".

I thought about it...& feel like I'd be quitting if I didn't at least give it another try.

All I got so far is...fuck.

Actually, that's not true entirely...

I feel sort of good with my decision to try to make things better.

Labels: Currently, Help

His name is Ray.

He drives a Prius.

& he called me back when he said he would.

That's all the info I have so far.

9:30 tomorrow morning I meet him.

He's a therapist & I'm going to squeeze all I can out of him.

Is that the right attitude to go in with?

I'm not really asking...that's the way it is for now.

Labels: Currently, Help